Is euthanasia right for my cat today?

I have an almost fifteen year old tortie scheduled to be put down in a few hours, and I can't get myself to feel better about the decision.

This is my first time on Reddit because I'm that desperate for emotional relief. She's highly hyperthyroid(thyroidic?), and we got medication to help but she's had a cough for several months now, she's 6.9 pounds, and lately she's started to rarely but occasionally open her mouth slightly to pant, which comes after weeks of rapid/labored breathing. The vet said it might be heart disease, which we can't get checked because she pants and panics being dragged out of the house. We have a vet that visits our house, but even just the blood work seemed to cause her labored breathing.

There's a lot of detail I'm missing but I'm exhausted and heartbroken. She spends all her time downstairs laying down, restlessly switching spots, she doesn't make the effort to go upstairs anymore, but she has all this energy to eat a lot, occasionally jumps to places, very alert. It feels like she has the most energy she has had in three weeks, but I know if I see her have another coughing fit or pant I'll feel cruel.. but when she acts like a normal cat, I feel like a murderer.

Am I doing the right thing? Has anybody else put down a pet who still had "life" left in them but couldn't breathe properly? Do I wait at the risk of her detoriating, panting, coughing.. or do I give her a chance?

I hate every part of this. It feels like everybody else knows based on lack of appetite, major lethargy, diseases.. all we know is she struggles to breathe and has hyperthyroidism. I was confident in my decision when I saw her panting, but now it feels like she's just lethargic and I'm going to murder her for it. She did cough this morning, a bad sign of heart disease usually, but only for two seconds. I just need to know if this is right. If it was anything but her ability to breathe, we could persevere.

submitted by /u/Breeziys
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