I have to deal with being a shit person on top of losing my pet

Using a throw out because I am horrible:

About 2 weeks ago coincidentially my 2 closest friends pets (a cat and a dog) and my own (parrot) got sick at the same time. And I mean life threatening, ER-vet and clinic stay kinda sick. For all of our pets it didn't look well, they all had a pretty bad prognosis. We comforted each other best we could but we all feared the worst.

My bird did not make it and I had to bury him a week ago. My friends cat survived her operation against all odds and my other friends dog made a miracle recovery. Both can go home this week.

I know both animals for years and am really glad they did not die. I really like them even if that will sound not very convincing regarding my next sentence: when my friends are euphoric about their pets recovery I can't help feeling envious as I never did before in my life and I can't stand their joy. I struggle with the fact that I had to bury my beloved pet and they got so lucky. It feels so unfair to me and I really hate being alone with my sadness in the face of their relieve.

This is so ugly I feel even worse than I already do about my pets death. Just wanted to confess these horrible thoughts I have and vent a little.

submitted by /u/drunken_capybara
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ri02m8/i_have_to_deal_with_being_a_shit_person_on_top_of/