I adopted a rescue on my own a little over 2 years ago. My fiancé (who I have been with for over 6 years) has really grown to love him, and has always been great with him. The dog is only 20 pounds, and is not a biter. Even when they play kind of rough, he will not truly bite his hand (only show his teeth and growl and play nip). But if anyone startles him from his sleep, he has come close to biting. Of course, we recognize this is more of a involuntary response than a true behavior, and we’ve not truly even scolded him for it.
Well, tonight my fiancé startled him from a nap on the couch, and he bit at him. My fiancé immediately started playing back roughly with him, swatting him jokingly with a small pillow. But my dog seemed grumpier than usual when they play like that, and was really barking and growling and biting at him. But my fiancé just kept doing it for a few more seconds (all while laughing). My dog came over to me on the couch, and my fiancé suddenly seemed to realize that my dog actually broke the skin. He was suddenly very angry, and started yelling at the dog. I can understand that to some degree (especially at first - it appeared his teeth actually punctured the skin). But after seeing how my fiancé egged him on and kept it all up, I really saw it as his own fault. Keep in mind - my fiancé is a very large, strong guy who lifts (heavy) weights. He also has huge, tough, calloused hands that are used to getting injured while cycling, or fixing cars and other things (i.e., he is no delicate flower). So after yelling at my dog for a few seconds, it looked like he started to walk away (I assumed to cool down). My dog was sitting on my lap, and I was starting to calm him down, when my fiancé straight-up PUNCHED him in his tiny face. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed.
I have seen my fiancé lose his temper, and it is pretty scary because he is barrel-chested and loud, but he has never come close to hitting me. And he has been so sweet and loving to my dog, that he is truly “our dog” as this point. He baby talks and snuggles him, and they have formed a real bond. So all of that made this moment even worse. My reaction was to tell him to pack up his things and leave. I told him that I could not be with someone who could closed-fist punch a dog in the face (especially as a form of punishment/retribution and not self-defense from a brutal attack). The dog’s head was right beside mine, so I got the view of what it would look like to be punched in the face by my fiancé, too. It was all just truly terrifying.
So, I guess I am writing this to ask if I overreacted? I should also say that the past year has been rough on him with the pandemic causing him to be unemployed for the first time in his life, and I have been supporting him since March. He has been drinking more and just hasn’t been the same man he was during our first 5 years together, but this was truly shocking behavior for him. But my gut tells me I was right to demand he leave, that if he will punch a defenseless little dog in his tiny face in a fit of anger, then it could easily be me one day. He actually felt justified at first because the dog drew blood, but I reminded him that he had started to walk away and chose to come back and punch the dog while I was holding him.
At the very least, I think he needs to move out and get his act together, find work (he has somewhere to stay), and do some deep soul-searching.
Am I wrong? Did I overreact? My sweet dog is ok, by the way, but he is very sensitive and this obviously hurt him more emotionally than physically. He truly loves my fiancé, and trusted him fully.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/jqr50b/fiancé_just_punched_our_small_dog_in_the_face_for/
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