I had a husky lab puppy who was intelligent, extraordinarily gentle, sweet, loyal, and god i loved her. She was my first ever pet. Her name was Stormy (my husband’s choice, truly a terrible name). She was eager to please but really distractible, and I was determined to discipline her properly so we wouldn’t have to give her up when she became full size. We had such a wonderful time with her that we actually wanted to adopt another, older dog to keep her company, and it terrified us how many truly sweet and kind dogs were being given up just because they were impossible to manage or walk because of how big and ill disciplined they were. I kept her on a 10 foot chain in the house (never more than 10 feet from me and always with access to toys, food, water, and pee pad) so she couldn’t cultivate bad habits while my back was turned. I didn’t let her sleep with us because I didn’t want her to get attachment issues. I sprayed her with water when she barked too much. While we played a lot and I loved and cared for her a lot I never let her just be a puppy. I wish I had walked her more often - we only went once a day and sometimes once in two days if it was too cold out. She loved people.
A really bad incident happened when my husband was walking her. A lady walking a full grown husky asked if her dog and our puppy could meet. My husband said yes, and when stormy went to sniff the big dog flat out picked up her face with its teeth and shook her around like a rat. By the time we separated them her poor little face was bleeding. Stormy peed herself and cried and we carried her and rushed her to the hospital. She had some bad tooth marks on her nose but she healed in a week or two. After that, however, she was TERRIFIED of other dogs, even tiny ones half her size who did nothing but sniff and lick her. and then the seizures returned in full force (she had already had one before) Apparently they’re often genetic in labs and huskies, so she got the worst of the genetic pool.
They were really bad. She foamed up at the mouth, became violent, and ran around the house howling and pooping herself. After each one she’d curl up exhausted and cry. Worst part was the seizures made her forget her training bit by bit. She started barking throughout the night and coming only half the time when we called. We decided we needed to put her down. It was the toughest choice of our life but this was a problem we knew would only get worse with time. We hadn’t slept for almost five days straight and we were at our wits end.
Then came the problem. They were no euthanasia services in our city. Law was you could take your pet to a shelter and they’d decide what to do, not you. But I couldn’t do that to a puppy who peed herself when any dog got within twenty feet of us. What if they kept her until her first seizure? What if she was adopted by a horrible family who punished her for them? I couldn’t abandon her to a metal cage where she’d only get attention once a day and be around animals that terrified her. We did hours of online research and decided to euthanize her at home using drugs we could find at the pharmacy. Every website we read said she’d go to sleep quickly in no pain and it would be over. I imagined us holding her in our laps as she snuggled up and escaped her suffering without fear.
I read the labels carefully and calculated the exact dosage. I got the pills and ground them up in her all favorite treat: fruit pulp. She HATED the smell of them. I had to force feed for her an hour while my husband held her down. It was terrifying for her and she felt so betrayed she didn’t want to be anywhere near me afterwards. I didn’t end up getting her to eat all of it, since she spat out quite a bit. We waited for her to sleep, but while she got drowsy, her face ended up puffing up grotesquely and her pee turned dark orange. She was clearly not in any pain, but it was terrible. I had poisoned my baby. I stayed up all night and held her, but I left her alone for a couple hours while we took a walk to calm ourselves. The sight of her face in the dim light of our apartment terrified me, and I will never forgive myself for that weakness. She was a baby, probably lonely and scared, and I selfishly left her alone even though it was my fault. I took her to the shelter the second it opened the next morning. I was sobbing and told them she had had a bad reaction to the seizure medication. I was so ashamed of myself. They put her down, but I wasn’t allowed to watch.
I was so careful, but I can’t believe I was dumb enough not to see this coming. My darling, perfect, adorable puppy could never have had a happy ending, but I made her short loving life worse. I should have let her sleep with us and bark and run and get all excited like she did. I know I did what was best considering what I knew at the time, but in the end I poisoned her anyway and ruined the last twelve hours of her life.
I dream of her running towards me sometimes, and us snuggling and me kissing her belly like I used to. She was always gentle, always kind, knew instinctively to be extra careful around children, and followed me around the house as I walked. I think of her every day, imagine how big she’d be now. It’s been almost a year since we got her, and I’ll never forget our car ride home together. She was so scared of riding in a car, but I held her tight and kissed her and distracted her with treats. She came home and fell asleep on my blazer on the floor. Rest In Peace, Stormy. I will never forgive myself for what I did to you.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/jwz2bm/i_need_to_get_this_out/
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