TL;DR: I got a dog soon after my other dog passed away, but he stays outside. He is aggressive to all other animals and sooner or later will kill one of our other dogs. I love him with all my heart and cant decide if he would be better in another home, especially since My grandmother has brought me "A dog better fit to keep in my room". My uncle (who owns most of our dogs) tells me I cant keep both, and I cant wait 3 years for my house to be built so I can move out and keep both, my mom wants to start a goat farm when we don't have the money and keep her 4th great dane, everyone in my house is addicted to keeping pets yet my sister and I are allowed to only keep 1 because everyone else has too many even though I'm breaking that rule with 3 pets (not breaking that rule by choice), sooner or later My dog will kill someone elses pet and its giving me anxiety and no one want to ease the situation of "we have too many pets". oh also its illegal where we live to have more than 4 pets- we have 24 pets, plus 5 goats and 2 more great danes on a 69 plot of land (where its actually legal to have more than 4 pets). My grandma breeds rats and birds and used to breed over 200 finches but sold them all, my mom breeds dogs, and we dont have the space or money for it. originally this post was gonna be asking for advice about what to do about keeping or re-homing my dog but at this point I dont care for advice i just need to vent about the stress that all these animals bring.
Stella:
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this is going to be alot because I have a lot to say there's a lot of information to get in here so strap in. You know its gonna be a long story when even the TL;DR is a full paragraph long.
So, a little bit of info: I'm 16, and I live in a 4 bedroom, 1 bathroom house with my uncle, grandma, my sister, and my mom (we had to build her a bedroom on our porch). we have 11 parrots (ranging from cockatoos, macaws, and smaller parrots like conours) 3 dogs in our main house with 2 staying in my mothers room and 4 in the backyard (ranging from a chihuahua to great dane) I have a ball python, there is 1 family gecko, 3 prarie dogs and some rats. since the day I was born, I was surrounded by pets (literally- my mom had 4 dogs when my twin sister and I were born). We have not gone one day in our lives without at least 4 pets living in our house.
now some backstory: back in 2019, my dog (an Alaskan Malamute named Ace) passed away. I was 14 at the time. I cried for a year and a half. We got that dog from a litter that one of our other dogs had- she's had maybe 9 litters (I don't know why we haven't gotten that poor thing fixed yet). and FINALLY my uncle (owner of the house) let me keep one. I raised him since he was a puppy, and I got attatched. So of course when he passed when we didnt know why (he acted sick for a day- we gave him food, forced him water, and gave him a little pedialite ( dunno how to spell it, its some kind of medicine you would give to an infant to help their stomach) but the very next morning he was dead- so whatever it was, it only took a day to kill him (and we were gonna take him to the vet, but when we called they said they were too busy and we would get my dog in quicker if we took him in the next morning). After about a month and a half, I was still grieving hard. my family was pushing me to get another dog and I wasnt ready. My uncle actually adopted a dog HE wanted, and claimed that "it was for me" (I didnt want a female dog at the time. Her name is Dani- she is an aussie shepard and pitbull mix.) and my uncle, knowing we have too many dogs and pets in general, kept her anyway and even went the extra mile to adopt Dani's sister, Aria (both named after Game of Thrones Characters. My uncle adopts dogs, claims their gonna be hunting dogs, and never trains them or interacts with them. As i type this, Aria sits in a small chainlink kennel in the back corner of our yard, blocked by a pool deck with no pool. My grandma feeds her (I think) and she is pretty much forgotten about. We have made posts trying to give her away but no one will take her, probably because she has obvious pitbull features like her face. she is a pitbull with australian shepard colors and spots pretty much). So because of this, I began to feel rushed into adopting a dog. I wanted a doberman, then a pitbull, but my grnadmother gave me a strict no (because they are "aggressive" dogs by nature). I also wanted a corgi and schnauzer, but couldn't find one on Craigslist. so I settled for a cute Aussie shepard/border collie mix. I named him Milo.
I raised Milo from a puppy too (6 weeks). I will admit, I was cruel to that dog for about the first 2 months of his life. When he did something wrong, I spanked him little too hard and even slapped his snout. he would stay locked in my room and rarely be let out, him we was in my away I would kick in his direction (never a full swing kick, but lightly and I never actually hit him. it was just in his direction when he was in my way.) and I didn't really play with him. I pet him, but never took him outside to play. My only reasoning was that he wasn't my dog and ace was. Milo got sick one day when kennel cough went through most of the dogs in our house. I took Milo outside because he was gagging like he would throw up. so I sighed being annoyed and took him out. as he sat there dry heaving I decided to press on his stomach and throat to see if I could force him to throw up since he was having trouble. after bout a minute or two I realized I was hurting him and stopped. it kinda clicked in my brain what I was doing and I cried alot and finally started to love this dog.
After that, I took him outside, played with him, never spanked him or hit him (yelled at him when he misbehaved and I was there to catch him in the act yes, but didn't hit), etc. soon he got too big to keep in my room. my room is small, and Milo comes up to the middle of my thigh (Im 5'1"). So we stuck Milo outside in our backyard, with Aria (before she was put in the kennel), Dani, and Aspen (Ace's mom). he was about 4-6 months old. he stays out there full time now (minus 3 months that I will talk about in a second). Pretty soon Milo started fighting will all the other dogs.
First he picked on Apsen (she is 12 years old, and a husky/wolf mix). Aspen now stays on our back porch because milo almost killed her, taking a large chunk out of her back leg, scratching up her face and biting the heck out of her neck. He has done the same to Dani and Aria, taking chunks out of each of their back legs, haunches, neck, and multiple scratches and scars on their faces. pretty soon Milo's behavior wore off on Aria, and aria began to attack aspen too (so she got put in the kennel). Dani stays out and Milo has been fixed. We hoped that neutering him would calm him down, especially after he got Dani pregnant. We kept milo in my room for 3 months so he would kill Dani or the puppies, and kept him in my room until he was fixed. 3 months later and 3 weeks after being fixed, he was let outside. The fighting dialed down, but didnt stop.
More than once I've thought about getting rid of Milo for a home that will love him more, play with him, and he wont have to fight. I do still play with Milo but I never go out of my way to do so. I usually go out in the backyard at least once everyday for work (I work on an Etsy shop from home, and since my crafts use Bleach I make my products outside where the bleach can air out). when I'm out there I'll play with Milo while I wait for the Bleach to dry. This is once everyday, but only once have I out of my way to play with him (and that was only because it was his Birthday). I know it doesn't seem like it, especially with my sister straight up telling me I have my dog, but in reality I really f-ing love that dog, I've had my ups and downs with him, but I love him. It hurts to see him fight and nearly kill our other pets, and it hurts that I cant keep him in my room (he will attack out parrots when bringing him to my room, and when he is in my room he wrecks everything. Within those 3 months he stayed in my room he has stained my floor with dog shit stains that I now have to cover with a rug (that he left for me while I was at school- he doesn't know what a puppy pad is for despite my countless efforts to train him to use it) he has eaten computer cables, the knobs to my drawers on my desk and dresser, eaten clothes, chewed on my bed frame, etc.) and even then there is no space for him- my room fits a dresser, my twin sized bed, and my desk and that's it. when I said my room is small, its small. its maybe the size of a very small college dorm room.
While I do think finding a new home would be best for not only him but for the health and safety of all our other dogs, I just cant seem to do it. I start to cry when thinking about re-homing him. I feel like he would be sad too, since my home is the only home he's ever known. I feel like it would make him sad, stressed, and possibly even more aggressive. and it would make me sad too, I don't want to think about him sitting outside in a cardboard box because someone adopted him, wasn't ready for it, and "released" him which is pretty much a guaranteed death if no one comes and takes him home or to a shelter. and I don't want to take him to a shelter directly because I don't want to think about him being one of those dogs sitting sadly in the corner for years because no one wanted him. I want him, and I do want to keep him more than anything, but its getting dangerous for the other pets. He's not people aggressive, just animal aggressive. He kills cats on sight, attacks dogs, growls at birds, etc.
I have been pondering this for almost a year. after about 4 months into 2021, I decided I'm keeping Milo. there was no way I was getting rid of him. However, something that happened today changed that. My grandma left for work, but quickly came back and came into my room immediately. What did she have? a solid white Schnauzer(?) (female) who is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. She Isn't aggressive at all, to people or dogs, birds, or cats, she Isn't scared of water (we gave her a bath and cut the burrs, stickers, and thorns out of her fur. her calmness in the bath makes me think she either 1, Isn't scared of water naturally or 2, had a really good home that trained her well) She came right up to me and laid on my lap, using my hand as a pillow. My grandmother usually hates picking up strays but she gladly brought this one home. Usually when she brings home strays, she says something along the lines of
"NO we are not keeping it, we have too many dogs- we are finding this ones home immediately and if we cant it goes to [petsmart/petco] where they can find a home for it. No you cant keep it, No you cant name it you will get attatched."
And that's what we've done to the other 3-4 strays we've picked up- we either found its home or gave it to [petsmart/petco] to deal with. though with this one she gladly said "If we cant find its home, its yours". and even asked me what I wanted to name her. Now I knew her rule, dont name the strays because then you'll get attatched and I didnt want to get attatched to this little white schnauzer- I had Milo and I was struggling to even keep him. Though, she asked so I said "Stella" because she looks like a Stella. Now guess what? Im attatched. it doesnt help that this dog has literally not left my side since my grandma left to go to work. As I type this, Stella is sitting next to me in my office chair, using my thigh as a pillow for her head and she has not moved. when I took her outside to go to the bathroom she flopped over for belly rubs, and when I sat down to pet her and be on her level she crawled right up in my lap and snuggled up to my chest. when walking into the kitchen she followed me the entire time, staying right on my heels. With Milo, he doesnt do that- he never was a snuggly dog, and doesnt follow me around. sure he will sit in my lap (or try at least- hes too big to actually fit in my lap without smothering me but smother me he shall because he thinks he's a lap dog) when he wants pets but once he doesnt want to be snuggled or pet he struts away and doesnt come to interact with me again until he wants pets again. when he stayed in my room he slept by the door for the entire night- he didnt want to sleep in my bed with me which is fine, but this dog (Stella) doesn't want to be any less than 3 feet away at all times. Now that I have Stella and will most likely keep her if no one comes looking for her (My grandma said that if there are no posts on Facebook looking for her within a few days to a week, she's mine) I feel guilty for having Stella when I don't even go out of my way to play with Milo. I was thinking about rehoming him again, but it still completely breaks my heart to think about.
I should also mention, my Mom and stepdad bought some property about a year ago- its 69 Acres (yes they kept it that number on purpose. they were originally gonna start a farm/ranch and call it the 420 ranch but I think they changed that plan, lol my parents are super cool) and this property is conveniently across the street from my highschool! My parents are building each person their own tiny house (with something like this for exterior, patio and all, and something similar to this for the interior) complete with a fences in backyard for our dogs. I was thinking "Oh if we get those built then I don't have to decide! I can keep milo out in my backyard and bring him in during harsh weathers (He's been outside for so long I think he actually hates being inside now- when he is inside he will sit at the door and whine and cry until I let him back into the yard.) and keep Stella too and just have her put away in maybe a room or puppy-pin when Milo is inside!" however, since the price of Lumber/Timber is our area has gotten so high, my parents have completely stopped working on the buildings. they barely have one house complete (which isn't even a house. its a workshop for my step-dad for his Sign buisness since he started a self-owned sign business, like billboards and such. my family is full of entrepreneurs and self-employed bosses) so this make total sense and everyone was cool with it. but not only have they stopped working because of prices, my step-dad is also just super lazy. he refuses to get a normal job "because he doesnt like people telling him what to do" but he doesnt even make signs when contracted! he has put off one particular job for a whopping 2 months and its not because he was busy- he just didnt want to do it and I'm serious- he could have been working on signs, or clearing the property of misquite trees, etc but he will work for 5 minutes, take a break for 20 minutes and continue that all day. or not work at all some days because its too hot/too cold/too many bugs/too windy/the dog wont let him work etc. AND even though they barely have money because both him AND MY MOM refuse to get normal jobs- we have almost no money for the houses yet they go out to eat at restaurants every other day (im serious, its sonic or wendys every other day and both saturday and sunday every weekend, and the bar every wednesday) AND THEY BOUGHT 6 GOATS! WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR GOATS. My mom wanted goats because they're cute and can make things like soap and butter but i know my parents very well- those goats with never be milked and soap/cheese/etc will NEVER be made. those goats are pets, not farm animals. AND SHE EVEN WANTS TO BREED THEM!
Its going to take an estimated 3 years to finish even 2 houses at this point and thats too long- Milo could kill another dog in that time, or even be dead himself (I cant predict the future, who knows what will happen in the span of 3 years!) so I'm kind of at a loss. whats crazier? My mom owns the 2 great danes (I mentioned we had great danes in the first paragraph, remember?) and she ALSO has ANOTHER great dane that she keeps at our private property! (My stepdad lives at that property despite not having a house built there- he sleeps in a metal shed that they are renting at 300 a month). AND GUESS WHAT?! THE FIRST AND SECOND GREAT DANES MY MOM GOT HAVE BRED FOR THE 4TH TIME AND SHE IS KEEPING ONE OF THEM! SHE HAS 4 GREAT DANES AND NOWHERE TO KEEP THEM! Her room is maybe 5-10 squares bigger than mine! I cant even keep milo in my room but she is keep 2 FULLY GROWN GREAT DANES in hers with a QUEEN SIZED BED instead of a twin sized one, plus a desk, shelves, a FLATSCREEN TV with display cases of video game figures and pop figures- and the great danes either sleep on her bed or a small dog bed in the closet. there is almost zero floor space in her room minus a tiny walkway that is definitely too small for a great dane, let alone 2 fully sized ones. Granted, she has put a back door in her room (remember how I said we had to build her a room on our back porch? this is the only reason she was able to do this) and has fences off the little allyway between our house and our neighbors for her dogs (we had our neighbors permission) I swear everyone in my house has an addiction to keeping pets! My grandma brings home new parrots and exotic birds every few months, my mom keeps collecting great danes, my UNCLE brings home dogs and then has the audacity to tell me to get rid of milo when Stella shows up, even though he owns 4 OF THE DOGS THAT WE HAVE! My mom owns 4 dogs but 2 stay in her room and never come in the house- the other 2 stay on a 69 acre plot of land so they dont count.
Oh and to add some more pets to the list- my grandma has started breeding rats for food for my ball python but my grandma loves rats and will probably end up keeping some.
yes I know this could have been summarized but I dont care- I needed to say it all. this situation is out of hand and me telling this whole long story is helping me wrap my head around it. everyone is acting like stella is my dog already (saying we would go get her fixed, but her a collar etc. This isnt my dog- I dont have any right to get her fixed or anything. not yet anyway). and everyone is super biased. My sister has been begging for another dog so her chihuahua/weiner dog mix would have a friend but instead they brought stella to me (my sister doesnt even like Schnauzers so she doesnt care but still) and I have 3 pets- I dont need 3 pets I dont want 3 pets. I have my snake because Ive wanted a snake forever, and a dog- actually I was planning to not get another dog after milo passes because i didnt want a dog I want a cat but i cant get a cat because my grandma has 11 parrots. actually we used to have cats but my grandma did the stupid thing and threw them outside to which they were killed and poisoned by some of our neighbors who dont like stays because "they're pests". so our cats have been murdered. why did she throw out our cats when they didnt belong to her and actually belonged to me and my sister? because she started breeding finches and the cats killed a few finches (she used to have over 200 finches of various breeds and I'm not kidding. she has a HUGE aviary behind the couch in our living room full of them, then she bought an RV/Camper and removed all the furniture and filled it floor to ceiling with cages, and she had her room filled with finch cages too. she sold all of the finches and stuck with bigger birds thank GOD.) we dont have a dining room anymore. Why? because our living room is filled with bird cages so we sold our dining table, moved our couch, coffee table, and TV into the old dining room and blocked our fireplace with a TV (because my crazy grandmother wouldnt let us use a fireplace because the smoke would kill her birds) and no one eats together in a dining room. in fact no one in my house can even talk to eachother because we are drowned out by screaming birds you can hear from down the road. Its a miracle we havent had noise complaints. we used to do family game night but no one does that anymore because of our pets. and we barely have the money to keep all these. the only people in my house with jobs are my uncle (which he spends all his money on beer) and my grandma who blows every penny on her birds and has to buy dog food, cat food, rat food, etc. she will never retire because of all these pets and she only makes 17 an hour which will drop because her boss is retiring and she has to find a new job. my sister has a job but my parents wont let her pitch in for bills "because she should spend money on things she wants" however when she DOES buy something she wants she gets judgmental looks and asked "why did you buy that when you could have saved your money for something more important/useful/helpful etc" and i am looking for a job but cannot be hired (quit my old one because my severe ADHD/couldnt focus/sensory issues/stress/anxiety" and have put in applications all over the place and no one will take me,. my mom and stepdad just flat out refuse to get a normal job and are basically freeloading. I was gonna ask for advice but i dont even care I really just needed to vent because every time I think about the pet/money/space situation I start sobbing this is way too much.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ovc77v/unable_to_decide_if_i_should_keep_my_bigger_dog/
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