Hello! I present you this case to ask for a possible expertise.
My female cat (Dolce) used to be a stray, and one day she simply decided she wasn't going to live on the streets anymore and strutted her skinny little butt into my husband's apartment and never left. She's always been a fairly feral, but affectionate cat, and has really mellowed out with the years, but she can still be an easily overstimulated mess.
After I moved in, we made the decision to not let her outside anymore (she still went out on her own terms pretty regularly) because of some issue with a dog owner that isn't essential to the story - she didn't like that, and ran for it multiple times, but always came back of her own accord or yelled until we found her, so I know she wasn't trying to flee from us or whatever. I do think that it caused her some anxiety issues, but we were too scared of losing her, especially after we moved apartments.
Now, a year or so after we moved, we set a weekend-long trip to NOLA for our honeymoon, and decided that she would feel less alone with a fellow cat around. Big mistake on our part. We adopted our second furry baby (Damon) from the local shelter when he was a few months old. Let me premise with this: Damon is the chilliest, most affectionate and loyal cat I've ever seen. He's hardly ever scratched anyone, loves my husband and follows him around like a puppy, I haven't heard him hiss once, he makes these cute little howling sounds to attract our attention, he loves cuddling and staying indoors. And Dolce hates him.
We expected she'd act territorial when we brought him home a couple weeks before our trip, but we thought that time would be enough to get them acclimated to each other. Nope. We tried all the methods we could dig up from pet advice websites; keep them in separate rooms for a week or so, gently rub a towel with the new cat's smell on the old cat, etc. etc. Dolce was having exactly none of it, and she never stopped hating his guts and acting aggressive towards him.
I would like to establish that Damon is neutered and has never acted aggressive towards Dolce (who's also been spayed), ever. In fact, he's very deferent towards her; always lets her eat first, will stop and cower if she hisses at him, try and walk as fast as possible past her. He will still attempt to befriend her from time to time, by trying to chase her around or sniffing her butt. No dice, she will hiss and yowl and glare daggers at him even if he's on the other side of the room. She actually steps in to vocally protest whenever we give him attention, and tries to divert the attention on herself (rubbing on our legs, making little indignant meows, the works).
I thought that moving back to my country house (big $3000 oof to bring the furry babies with us) and allowing Dolce to roam freely in the property would calm her down, but it seems like she hates him even more now. I make sure to intervene every time she starts raising her hackles at him, but I would like to find some method to have her at least tolerate his presence, ideally go along.
LMK if you need anymore details on the situation, and thanks for your time.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/b9uzrn/my_female_cat_wont_go_along_with_her_adopted/
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