I'll just get to the point, because time is short. I'm in a bind and I need my service animal request approved. I don't know what sort of forms I need or how to get them. I don't really have the best resources right now. The days grow darker and darker as my eventual end nears. I suppose one could say I'm in a form of hospice. Well, I guess there's no real easy way to say this, but ill try my best. I hope you won't judge me.
I'm an inmate on death row at San Quinten penitentiary. I like to think of it as a human dog pound (heh heh). I won't go into detailing the nature or extent of the crimes that brought me here. Check my recent AMAs if you're interested.
Let's cut to to chase: I'm being executed by the State of California by means of lethal injection two weeks from now. I would enjoy the company of a companion/comfort animal during my last few days. I'm afraid to speak to my lawyer about this, so maybe y'all can help me. You guys are my last hope.
I want a medium sized dog. What breeds make good end-of-life service animals? I was thinking maybe a Pit Bull, as they are cruel and bloodthirsty just like me. Maybe a local pound can send me one of those bitey ones who are going to be put down anyways? (kindred spirit?)
Of course I don't want this violent pooch to be absolved of his worldly sins. We'll both be put down together, side by side - just two cold blooded misunderstood beasts in life, now joining eachother in death. When the white lights blind me, I will know that I have a guide dog to lead me to the kingdom of heaven (Maybe St. Peter will have a milk bone welcome for ol' Cujo?)
I can see it now, we'll have a blast during our last days. I hope to make a new best friend before the great master in the sky calls us home. There are a lot of fun activities us bloodthirsty besties can do behind bars. I'd first take him to the weight room and sick him on Vinny (that snitch). After that, we could walk around the circle yard, and I could show him off to the Aryan Brotherhood in the next cell block. Can dogs use normal people shampoo? If so, id make sure we were both squeaky clean before the last meal.
I hope Fido will eat Little Caesar's hot and ready. It always made me think of my grandmas home made pizza. Her recipe wasn't all that great, but hot damn she cooked it fast!
Anyhow, I think it's a good idea - and I'd love to have the comfort of a canine to help me endure the anxiety associated with the executioners needle. Maybe we can both comfort eachother?
Your help is much appreciated, thanks!!!
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/b9vg60/need_help_with_last_minute_service_animal/
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