Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Resident cat seems to hate us since we brought home second cat

We adopted our gorgeous fluffball, a 1y.o. female DMH named Charlie, at the start of this year after the devastating loss of my beloved 8yo cat to a heart condition.

The shelter we adopted her from suggested very strongly that she'd be best with a companion, and that she was great with other cats. We decided to let her get settled in first, and to look at finding her a buddy once we knew her a bit better.

She settled in fantastically, and we were inseparable - she was ultra loving and smoochy, always so happy to see us, and had the cutest little chirrrrrp when she got a pat or jumped or even just shifted position, like she was narrating all her actions. My partner and I have been completely smitten with her.

She's seemed very lonely, though - we both work full time, and I caught her nuzzling the glass of the sunroom window one morning only to see she was trying to befriend a fox! (Thank God she's an indoor cat). About 3 weeks ago, we found a 6mo DSH, Boris, who seemed like the perfect fit - docile and snuggly. We brought him home.

We rushed the introduction, but they hit it off amazingly - they groom each other, sleep snuggled up together, play pretty nicely, eat together happily. If I try to separate them, the other is at the door crying out for them within a minute.

Charlie adores Boris. However, since he came home, she hates us!

It's like we're getting a silent protest for not having consulted her first. She barely tolerates us. She hangs out in the back room all day, and if you try to touch her, gets up with a great heaving sigh and turns her back to you then sits back down. She'll skulk away if we persist with bothering her. She won't engage with us at all - she won't even look at us! If you pick her up she doesn't struggle, but will swivel her head like an owl to keep facing away from you even if you turn her. Her little chirrrrp noises are gone.

We keep trying to engage with her despite the disdain and digust she responds with, making sure we say hello to her before the new cat, trying to engage her with play, and ensuring she's getting the lion's share of attention to try to avoid jealousy. We've gotten a feliway diffuser going (about a week ago) and I've tried to give her at least an hour or two a day of solo time without Boris in case she's overwhelmed, but she cries for him and waits by the door for me to let him back out the entire time.

We're heartbroken. We're struggling to bond with Boris despite him being a lovely cat because we're so worried about Charlie and feeling so guilty. I fell to pieces when my 8yo cat died, and now it feels like we've lost Charlie too. I'm at a loss - they've bonded so well that rehoming him would be more traumatic for her, and I couldn't bear the thought regardless, but we don't know what to do. We thought a companion for her would make her happy, but we feel like we've made an awful mistake. Will she ever stop hating us?

submitted by /u/neuromantic92
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/bbdlut/resident_cat_seems_to_hate_us_since_we_brought/

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