Basically, my boyfriend and I adopted a cat together in March 2020. She was considered an "undersocialized" cat because her previous owners literally left her for dead and she was found severely starving with every sort of parasite. She is 9 years old though, and apparently she has been in someone's care since she was 1.
It took a lot of patience and time, but she eventually warmed up to both of us, to him more than to me though because I just loved her so much and constantly wanted to coddle her. However, one night we had a party. It was really loud so we put her in our bedroom with everything she needed so that she could have a safe space. When I went to bed she was fine, just waiting on the bed for us. Later though my BF came in intoxicated and didn't realize she was sleeping next to me when he plopped down onto the bed. She BOLTED.
Ever since then, she has adored me being overly loving and affectionate to her, begging for me to coddle her, however, now she only tolerates my boyfriend. Any quick movement from him, she BOLTS. If he sneezes, she BOLTS. She let's him pet her if he approaches her slowly, but its very apparent that she is very much only attached to me.
The problem is, its been atleast 6 months since that incident, and it has not changed. Its really heartbreaking for my boyfriend because he just wants to love her, and he was the one who saw how sad she was and wanted to adopt her. I was fixated on a different cat at first, but he really wanted her so we got her. I wonder if I'm just enabling that behavior in her because she knows ill always be there for her, and if I should step away and try to let them bond again. Thoughts?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/k31tbs/my_cat_does_not_like_my_boyfriend_but_she_used_to/
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