Inappropriate cat urination for years - we have tried everything and there seems to be no hope left any more that things will get better. We are ill with stress, guilt and worry. Our home is misery for us and the cats.

(Note: Sorry in advance for the length of this. Thank you for reading).

Hi all.

Like many others here, I'm writing out of sheer desperation having reached a point where there just don't seem to be any solutions left any more. I don't even know what I want/expect anybody to be able to say to help us really, I think perhaps I just need to get this out.

In short, one of our two cats has a chronic inappropriate urination problem, and we're now at a stage after several years of trying to solve the issue, where everybody involved is extremely unhappy and unwell as a result.

We've had both cats since kittens from the same home, and (other than the normal chasing/play fighting) they've always got along well. They willingly sleep in the same bed together, so the issue isn't because of tension between the two.

Both cats are now 10 and a half years old and both Cat 1 (the urinating cat, male) and Cat 2 (female) are desexed since a young age.

Cat 1 first weed inappropriately when he was around 4 years old, when we had house guests over to stay for a couple of weeks. This seemed to be an isolated incident at the time.

We moved to a new home when the cats were around 6 years old, and the problem has continually escalated as time has gone on since then.

Over the years, the following areas/items have been targeted, and whenever we clean and/or block access to a 'chosen' area, a new one gets chosen:

• Hardwood trapdoor in hall (now covered with mat and scratching post)
• Random spots on floor/carpet in every room
• Walls in most corners
• Bath
• Kitchen counter
• The bin
• Hair extensions
• Laundry
• Shoes
• Shopping bags
• Books/ DVDs
• Our bed
• Cat bed

There will definitely be more to the list but in general, the message is that nowhere is safe from pee.

We have tried everything we can think of both medically and environmentally to resolve the problem, and nothing has worked.

Medical:

• Diagnosis of urine crystals a few years ago - this was treated with Cystaid and we have continued this ever since (on the advice of the vet) to prevent any recurrence.
• Multiple subsequent urinalysis all clear.
• Diagnosis of early kidney issues - extremely well managed with successful ongoing specialist renal diet (regular bloodwork confirms this).
• Overgrooming - First treated as possible skin irritation by a specialist (just in case). The medication didn't resolve the issue so the specialist was confident that the issue is anxiety/behavioural.
• Anxiety - Diagnosed as above. Over the years we have tried (again on the Vet's advice) Zylkene, Clomicalm, Prozac and I think one other medicine that I can't now recall. The vet has advised that there are no other medicines they can prescribe for us to try.

Environment:

We have tried all of the following:

• Multiple beds (they still choose to sleep in the same one)
• Multiple litter trays on different levels
• Different types of litter
• Different types of tray
• Feliway (Two different types)
• Separating the cats (makes Cat 1's anxiety worse)
• Giving them freedom to roam the house (urine everywhere)
• Restricting them to a small room upstairs to reduce anxiety/reduce chance of seeing a neighbourhood cat through the windows
• Cleaning every urine-affected area multiple times with vinegar, citrus, bicarbonate of soda and enzymatic cleaners

Again, over the years we've probably tried many more things but this gives the general gist of how much we've been desperately trying help our cat get better.

In general, he is a very loving and very very sweet cat - with extreme separation anxiety as well as anxiety in general.

We are now in a situation where we've had to restrict the cats to the one room in an effort to minimise Cat 1's anxiety, as well as the urination. Unfortunately this makes him extremely unhappy too - although he seems to overgroom less in this room, his separation anxiety increases. He will howl and scratch at the door while we sleep until his paws are literally bleeding. It's absolutely heart breaking.

We can only now spend time with him in the other areas of the house if one of us is able to keep a literally constant eye on him. If we turn our backs for even 5 minutes, he will spray (the urination is marking behaviour, not elimination of a full bladder).

It's also not fair on Cat 2 at all - she is much more active and likes to roam, but Cat 1's anxiety without her around is too extreme. 2 days ago, we got them a new bed to sleep in as Cat 1 had weed on it.. and the next morning, the new bed was also wet with wee.

The situation is making us absolutely miserable, our house is unhygenic and we feel like prisoners, as well as feeling constantly guilty for restricting the cats to a small room.

The situation is even more complicated due to Cat 1's medication and special diet. Of course, Cat 2 can't have this, so we have to feed them both separately. Cat 1 doesn't like the taste of the medicine so will nurse his food for hours. We like to try and have as much time with him as possible when we can supervise his marking behaviours, to make up for having to be shut away in the room the rest of the time, however the moment we bring him into the front room with us, he will howl to go back up for his food. So we take him back up, give him some time to eat, and he will start howling to be let out. And the pattern repeats for the whole evening, every single day.

We just don't know what to do any more. Both us and the cats are miserable. We've tried every behavioural suggestion, every diet, supplement and medication the vets can offer. They have categorically told us there is nothing else they can try.

The only options we haven't tried that we can think of now are:

1. Outdoor enclosure - This is a very anxious indoor cat and we live in the north of England which is very cold outdoors most of the year. We both believe this would be terrifying and abusive to the poor cat.

2. Nappies - This is something I'd be willing to try but my other half believes that he will either just pull these off, or be miserable with stress from trying to get them off all day every day. If we are being honest with ourselves, we're not sure if this would give Cat 1 an acceptable quality of life due to how much stress we expect it would cause him.

3. Experimental medicine - From my research, I know vets in other countries will try other medicines that the vets here aren't willing to prescribe. So it raises the question of whether we could find a way to import medicines and try treating Cat 1 ourselves behind the advice of the vet. This is possibly quite dangerous and could end up doing more harm than good.

4. Rehoming - The thought is devastating, even more so because we can't see that anybody would be willing to take Cat 1 on, with the knowledge of all his medical and behavioural problems.

So we are left in a situation of perpetual guilt where we feel that due to the profound problems that Cat 1 has, the cats no longer have a suitable quality of life, meanwhile we are also constantly stressed to the point of absolute misery. I don't know how any of us can possibly manage perhaps another 10 years of this.

Please no cruel comments, we are genuine people who love our pets and are at complete breaking point on how we can continue living like this, with seemingly no acceptable solution in existence. I'm not sure anybody can help us at this point, but thank you for reading anyway if you got this far.

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