I wasn't really sure which subreddit to post this on, but considering the topic is heavily pet-related I've decided to put it here.
For some background knowledge, I'm (early 20's) living with my mother (early 50's) and her boyfriend (late 40's) and recently, they decided to temporarily take in two cats that were rescued from a neglectful home that was very unsanitary (it's a long story that's not relevant to this post). For the time being, we've been keeping these two cats, a one year old female, and a 16 week old calico kitten, in our finished basement. We've been giving it a week to see if any friends/family/coworkers/ were interested in taking them in and if not, they would handed over to a local no-kill animal shelter. Luckily, the one year old did find a forever home, but we're still looking for someone to adopt the calico kitten.
This is where the title of this post comes in. My mom knows that I've wanted a calico cat since I was little, so she's been trying to convince me to take in the kitten. The problem is, is that I just had to put down my childhood cat of 17 years just two weeks ago. I loved that cat so much, and I still cry in mourning if I think about him for too long. Luckily, his sister who is also 17 is still alive and well so I'm not completely alone. But she only ever liked her brother. She doesn't get along well with other cats, she's very territorial and always has been with everyone but her brother. So I know that getting a new kitten would be troublesome for her, especially since even now when the cats get too close to her, she hisses at them.
Alongside my continuing grief for my deceased cat, I also don't want a kitten. I'm someone whose looking for a more relaxed and calming pet, a lap-cat. I want an older cat who doesn't have the rambunctious energy of a kitten, and who doesn't wake me up every 30 minutes to pounce at my hair in the middle of the night. I also don't want a kitten because I don't know what kind of personality they're going to have when they grow up. If I'm going to adopt a cat, I'd want an older cat where I know what kind of personality they'll have and know what to expect from them, with a kitten, It's a toss-up and it's not something that I really want to gamble with.
However, when I've expressed these concerns with my mother, she's brushed it off as saying "you just haven't bonded with her (the kitten) yet!" Well no I haven't, because we're only babysitting her for a few days and she's not the type of cat I'm looking for. The only thing that I really like is that she's a calico, that's really it but my mom thinks that that's more than enough reason for me to adopt a cat, despite the fact that I'm still grieving the loss of my childhood cat and not emotionally ready for a new cat yet (and the fact that my current cat is not good with other cats).
When I told her that she's better off going to the shelter where someone who truly wants a kitten will adopt her (and I see no reason why a 16 week old calico kitten WOULDN'T get adopted), my mother retorted "so you'd rather keep her stuck in a cage?" We're taking the kitten to a NO-KILL shelter! And the shelter we're taking her too, the kittens get adopted very fast so I'm not sure why she's using this angle. I think my mom has bonded with the cat and now she's pressuring me to adopt her so that she can keep the cat in the family. She's making me feel guilty for not wanting to adopt a cat, because I know that cats need good homes and I know that I'm a good cat owner, but right now I'm not in a good place to take in a new pet yet but still I keep getting shamed by my mom because I'm saying no, like I'm damning this kitten to a poor life because of it. I don't know what to do, should I just give into her demands and take in the cat because it's the right thing to do?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ograx3/my_mother_is_pressuring_me_to_adopt_a_rescue/
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