Hi!
Just a disclaimer beforehand, I already KNOW there’s a problem with my pet. I understand completely that my family and I must have missed a step in training him. I really would like advice and not 100 people telling me I’m a horrible person and to get rid of the dog. (Sorry to be an r/choosingbeggars but I’ve had bad experiences in the past)
Whew, now that that’s over with, the meat of the issue.
For about a year and a half, my family has owned a little white Maltese. We got him from a shop (I know, it’s unethical. My parents got him as a surprise for us and I don’t think they looked into the morality of buying from a breeder) when he was about 3 months old. I love my pup to death, which is why it pains me so much to see his separation anxiety get worse and worse.
It began when we started crate training him. As soon as he figured out how to bark, he would do so incessantly until we let him out of his cage. Even the first night we got him, as he slept 2 feet away from me with an open door, he whimpered until I put him in my lap.
Fast forward to now and things have not gotten any better. Like, at all. He FREAKS out at the slightest sign that someone is leaving. He barks like crazy when people come in, but that seems normal. The problem is that when anyone leaves, he has a total meltdown. It doesn’t even have to be a family member or anything; he’ll cry and bark for the pizza guy to come back.
He also hates it when we go upstairs. He isn’t allowed upstairs, and so he knows not to follow us up (although he frequently disobeys this rule at night). But as soon as you take the first step, he growls, tugs at your pant legs and sometimes bites your ankles. It’s even worse at the door though. He’s torn holes in shoes, bags and is known to be a frequent ass-biter if you don’t leave backwards.
And while he is clearly distraught when we leave the house, his major problem seems to be with sleeping downstairs (away from the bedrooms, which are upstairs). My parents made it very clear that our dog was NOT to go upstairs, under any circumstances. However, after warming up to the dog a little more, they relaxed on the rule and let him sleep in the hallway. Still though, he barks constantly at our doors and has left scratch marks in the wood.
Our only solution so far to this was to tie him up downstairs. This obviously works in order to keep him from coming upstairs, but it WORSENS the anxiety and barking problem. He will bark until 3 or 4 AM sometimes, or until someone comes to sleep on the couch with him.
The only way we have been able to counteract this problem was by purchasing a bark collar. It works like a charm, and the package says “humane” on it, so we’re pretty certain that the collar itself isn’t hurting our pup too bad. My issue is, however, that it is solving the barking issue without solving the anxiety. He is still able to cry with the collar on and it breaks my heart.
So, my question is, where do I go from here? Is there any way to retroactively train the dog? What can I do to ease his anxiety without sacrificing our house rules?
Help!
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/bc95rn/separation_anxiety_and_violence_in_my_dog/
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