So I need some advice/opinions on this. I can’t tell if I’m being petty or if my feeling is somewhat reasonable. This definitely isn’t a true “issue” but I can’t tell any of my friends this without it seeming gossip-y...so here we go.
I have two newly adopted cats and I really love them both and have always wanted pets. They aren’t getting along still (had them 4 months) which makes me really sad as it hasn’t been easy. the very shy 1 year old stays in my room most of the time and the more social Kitten stays in our common space. I have 3 other roommates. All of them like the kitten the most because she is super easy going and so silly. Two of them like cats, but my one roommate really likes them and her boyfriend really likes my kitten bee too and she’s told me he likes to come over more since I got her. I’m happy she’s getting so much love and affection but I have a bit of an issue/maybe jealousy with it.
I feel annoyed because she will treat the cat like her own and always keep her door open so Bee can go in her room and will have her bf over and will keep her door cracked while they watch a movie so my kitten can cuddle with them. Which normally she wouldn’t keep a door open during movie or work time. She works from home so is often home during the day and will have my kitten sleep in her room while she works. I’ve been very stressed w/ the two cats not getting along yet like I had hoped and it makes me sad to always have to have my bedroom door closed to keep them separate and not be able to have the kitten come and hang with me. I also work an office job so can’t be there during the day.
In me expressing stress and sadness over them not getting along and saying I may have to give one up as worse case scenario she’ll say “I’ll definitely take Bee if you want. I’m serious. I’d take good care of her” and I’ve heard her say to her bf “I just love it when the kitten cuddles with us. I love her so much” So I know she’s super fond of her. In the beginning I asked everyone to not let Bee in their rooms so she could get very used to the common space as her space to live and would not meow or scratch at doors. I also don’t want her to have serious bonds with someone who isn’t me. I know that’s selfish, but I have adopted and the trained her, feed her and clean her poop lol. And she just means a lot to me.
This also happened when I was kitten sitting for a friend. I was the one to feed it and clean it’s litter, but since I wasn’t home, my roommate had it sleep in her bed all day and then was like “yeah he loves sleeping with me at night! It’s so crazy” and it was frustrating because I was the one watching the kitten and had said how excited I was to have a kitten to watch since I wanted to adopt soon and was also still hurting from a breakup (where my ex didn’t want me to get a cat) and I was so surprised she wouldn’t think about that and let the cat sleep with me. So basically btw that and other things, she has a history of not seeing or respecting boundaries some might recognize naturally.
So I feel selfish bc I know it’s good for the kitten to have attention and affection and a nice big window (roommates room) to look out since there’s not a good one in the common room. But I also am wary of having boundaries of my pet and me respected.
I confronted her a bit about it in the beginning saying “please leave the kitten in the common space so she gets used to the home and not other peoples rooms” and Id come home to find the kitten sleeping in her bed and would come and take the kitten off and say “hey I’m just gonna play with her in my room and switch them a bit”. She got defensive saying “wow! That was so aggressive! You can’t control where she goes, she’s a social cat and needs to be around people” and she did respect those boundaries after but it’s gotten pushed more and more over time. I just can’t reasonably ask “hey please never let Bee in your room” that wouldn’t be realistic.
How or what can I ask her to do to better respect my space with my pets? Or do I just bring the kitten to sleep with me every night and let the other one have the common space half the time? Part of me wants to assert boundaries but part of me worries it’ll create unnecessary tension in the friendship. I’m also not confrontational at all by nature, so I worry about stuff like this a lot as you can see.
Thank you!
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ep70e8/am_i_insanely_petty_or_is_this_reasonable/
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