Hello reddit, I understand the title may seem a bit negative, but please hear me out. I'm just looking for some different opinions and advice.
Last month, I finally started to look for my first cat after months of consideration. I met one at a local PetSmart who I really got along with (I'll be referring to her as "the cat" to help avoid getting emotional while writing this). I applied to the rescue that was keeping her at the store and was accepted. Less than a day before picking her up, I was notified that she has a fractured tooth, and that I would actually now be her "foster with intent to adopt" and only pay part of the adoption fee until the tooth is extracted. They have already paid for the procedure, and I will finalize the adoption after it's completed.
I didn't have an issue with this situation, seeing that she should be fine after having the affected tooth pulled. I also understand issues arise with pets all the time. However, once I got her home, I was looking through her medical records and found that these dental problems were discovered weeks beforehand, and that there is gingivitis involved. I've also caught her rubbing her gums on the corners of objects (I gently pull her away or move the object when she does this). I started to get worried, so I scheduled a vet visit where the doctor said the gingivitis can be managed, but it's impossible to cure and will likely get worse with time. She also said that the gum rubbing is likely due to pain. I called the insurance company I was planning on using, and they told me I would at least not qualify for dental coverage, and possibly more restrictions would apply due to these pre-existing conditions.
Now I am just really anxious as to what decision to make. My biggest concerns are:
- How will this affect the cat? Despite only having her around for a week so far, she has adjusted so well to my place. She is such a sweet cat and I have no doubt that she will find a home. I'm just wondering if relocating her at even such an early stage will affect her mentally? There is also the (likely irrational, but reasonable) fear that she will end up somewhere she doesn't like as much.
- I am a first-time cat owner. I have not really had time to familiarize myself with "normal" cat behaviors and lifestyle. I am worried that I may miss warning signs related to these health conditions (particularly the gingivitis) she's having. Perhaps she is better off with owners who are more experienced?
- Insurance problems. I already know the gingivitis will disqualify me for dental coverage except maybe some cleaning. The agent I spoke to did not really have definitive answers since I spoke to him before my vet visit, which was yesterday. I plan on calling again tomorrow as it's Sunday today and their offices are closed. Again, I know caring for a pet's health can be unexpected and expensive. Except, I anticipated that I would at least be able to get covered before having problems arise.
- How would giving her up affect me? Is all this stress evidence that I'm not ready? I know this is impossible to answer, but I suppose I'm curious if others have gone through something similar. I absolutely love animals and only want what's best for them. If that means dropping the "with intent to adopt" part of the agreement, so be it. Although, I'm worried that I will have regrets. I'm 24 and live alone if that helps.
I spoke to the rescue this morning to keep them updated on her vet visit and to voice my concerns regarding the adoption. They said that if I do decide to give her up, I can continue to foster her until after the surgery, or until they find someone else who will foster with intent to adopt. This is a relief because the last thing I want is for her to go back to a cage in PetSmart, especially if she's in pain.
I still have nearly a month before the tooth extraction and adoption finalization. Although, they understandably want to know my decision as soon as possible so that they can find new adopters if need be. They seem put off by my reconsideration, which I understand. But ultimately, they did spring these issues on me rather unexpectedly, and did not mention the gingivitis.
Are my feelings valid here? It's like every day I feel differently about this, so my feelings are really 50/50. It's driving me a bit nuts. I understand it's generally not advised to give up a new pet, but I really just want to do what's best for the both of us. Logically, my gut is telling me that this isn't right, but every time she cuddles up to me on the couch, I feel devastated by the idea of letting her go. I know that new pet anxiety is real and will go away with time, but I also don't want a serious bond to be formed if it's not right.
I am sincerely thankful for any advice. It's seriously appreciated.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/n3jujd/foster_with_intent_to_adopt_due_to_dental/
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