Help with extreme separation anxiety in a cat

Background:

Bear is a 4yo domestic shorthair. I rescued in January 2020 from a shelter. He was picked up as a stray so I don't have any other history. He is very nervous, doesn't like loud noises, new people or any changes to routine, he can be reactive and we have had issues of misplaced aggression previously, although he is much better now. He has bonded solely with me despite living with at least one other person since I've adopted him. Obviously there has been that which cannot be named and I have been working from home since March 2020 and not really left the house much at all.

Issue:

Restrictions are lifting here and I am double vaccinated. Not that I'm intending to go hog wild or anything but I will probably be returning to office 2 or 3 days a week over the next few months and there will be the odd night away at a friend's. I also have a holiday booked for a week in July.

However whenever I leave the house for more than 15 mins he goes into crisis mode. Despite my housemate still being here he will search the house for me, he will pace, he will cry (its desolate).

The longer I am gone the worse the behaviour will get. I went to visit some friends at the weekend in a other town and including travel time I was gone for about 14 hours. He got so worked up he made himself ill and threw up. He looses fur in massive patches and just works himself into a state.

I recognise this is separation anxiety but I'm not really sure what I can do to make it better for him. The fact he is so stressed that there is a physical reaction concerns me. It doesn't matter whether there are other people here or not, so it's not about company its specifically about me. He doesn't demonstrate any of this behaviour when my housemate leaves.

Just to answer a few common questions:

• He went for his annual health check in Jan and other than being slightly over weight he is fine (he isn't a chonk just a little over the ideal and I have been working on that)

• He is FIV positive but hasn't had any problems to date

• I can't get a second cat, for a host of reasons it is just not feasible for me. In fairness this doesn't seem to be about company anyway, as my housemate was here the entire time

• I have already watched Jacksons Galaxy and I can only find episodes where the cats are completely alone. I do already do most of the recommended things (i.e changing routine, puzzle feeder, bird TV, window and high spaces, catification (he has 2 cat trees, cat beds and window seats)). The only thing I've not done is crate training, however Bear doesn't like small spaces and boxes. I think he feels trapped so will usually avoid them if possible.

I don't know what to do, but I can't never leave the house again but I don't want this to start affecting his health.

submitted by /u/K3stal
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/n64k1t/help_with_extreme_separation_anxiety_in_a_cat/