I posted this on r/Advice too but I thought this subreddit could help me too. Thanks in advance for any suggestions/advice.
I apologize in advance since this post is going to be rather long. This is an issue I (19) have been dealing with for a while now, and I'm hoping I can get some advice on how to proceed. Essentially, my parents are really against keeping our cat indoors since they think he won't be as happy. They think forcing him to stay inside is like keeping him in a jail cell.
My cat is around 3 years old. He started going outside when he was around one and a half, but started having issues in this past year. There seems to have been an influx of cats being adopted by our neighbours since the pandemic started, and I've seen at least 4 new ones that are always outside. In total, there should be around 6-7 outdoor cats that roam around my area. My cat is not particularly friendly with any of them except for one. He hisses, growls, and fights with them all the time. In the past year, he has suffered at least 5 minor injuries, including two cuts on his ears that cut a dent into both of them, and multiple scratches on his nose and around his eyes. One of our neighbours also told me that he can no longer let his cats outdoor since mine "seems to always want to kill them." I felt really bad and apologized profusely, but it seems that they still (reasonably) refuse to let them out. I was reluctant to let him out after the minor injuries, but he demands to be let out and my parents are too soft hearted to refuse him to. So, he continued going out.
Recently, about two months ago, he suffered a severe injury. We don't know what happened to him, and what did it to him. He came back with a long, deep scratch that reached from the top of his shoulder down to the start of his stomach. It was nasty and we rushed him to the hospital where he had to get surgery and stitches. He also had to get a tube inserted into the injury site to prevent blood clotting and had this and a cone on for around 3 weeks. He is recovering well, thankfully, but a large scar is noticeable and his fur has still not completely grown back. After this, I refuse to let him out. I was already anxious every time he went out not knowing what would happen or if he would return, and after this I decided that it is definitively too dangerous to go outside. My parents however, think otherwise. Small note: we live in a neighbourhood where there is not main roads nearby, but the roads are relatively active and we are facing the roads. This is also a factor that is dangerous to our cat since I have seen him attempt to or succeed in crossing the road before.
They think that by keeping him inside, we are taking away all his happiness. That he's going to die of boredom within our home and that he's going to hate us for it. He meows constantly to go out still and they have a hard time refusing him. They also get annoyed listening to him meow and says it distracts them from what they're trying to do. He wakes us up early by meowing (around 7am-8am), and they hate it. I admit, it is annoying. But I think it's a process and we'd have to put up with him meowing for a bit until he learns that his meowing doesn't work. Unfortunately, they reinforce his meowing habits because they pay attention to him when he meows, and don't understand when I say we must ignore him for him to stop. They say ignoring him is like treating him like a stuffed animal, not a live animal. It takes all the energy for me to convince them not to let him out everytime. I'm honestly tired and I don't want to keep fighting them about it every time.
I have sent them multiple articles, explained to them that when we adopted him, the shelter explicitly stated to keep him indoors, and even sent them reddit posts similar to keeping a cat indoors (which they refuse to read). I have also tried to explain all the factors to them. That not only could he get hurt fighting with other cats and that he could get hit by a car, but there are also factors such as wildlife (racoons are plentiful by my house and they often come to our yard when it starts to get dark), viruses/bacteria, and the risk of getting poisoned. My cat likes to hunt and have on multiple occasions brought back dead birds and dead moles/mice. I have also explained that this is bad not just for him, but also the wildlife and the ecosystem. It pains me to pull a injured bird from his grasp, try to nurse it back to health only for it to sadly pass away later in pain. I tell my parents that many, many cats are indoor only (in fact the majority of cats are), and that they are both completely happy and safe. They counteract saying that "well, he's not like other cats" and that "I don't care about other cats, I know what ours wants." They constantly want to compare him to human behaviour (people face a risk when going outside too, etc.). I don't think this is a reasonable argument. While people, granted that they are old enough and mature enough, can make sound and considerate decisions, a cat only decides what to do based on if they want to do it or not. As a pet owner, I think it's my responsibility to not only keep him happy, but ensure his safety, even if he's not happy about my decisions. I have to balance the pros and the cons since he cannot do so himself, and my parents cannot seem to grasp this concept.
I have tried everything to keep him safe outdoors. I bought multiple collars for him, in which he always somehow removed them and lost them. I then compromised with my parents, and bought a harness and leash for him to use so that he can go outside safely. My cat did not react the best to being put on a harness, but he is slowly learning and I bring him outside 1-2 times a day on it to slowly train him. He escaped from it twice when we first put it on him but that was partly my fault; it was my first time putting a harness on him and I did not adjust it accordingly to his size. Since then, my parents don't think this is good enough. They think I'm still restricting him freedom. That he can't have free roam and he is not as agile or nimble with a harness on. This is true, but it is exactly this that is keeping him safer outside. He has not fully adjusted to harness and leash training yet, and my parents seem impatient and just want to let him outside without him.
Obligatory information that I think I should include. Our house is not small. We have two stories including a basement and a medium-sized yard. We have plenty of toys for him, including but not limited to three different kinds of scratch boards, a play tunnel, one of those toys that are built like a paved mountain with ball inside that he can push, a light chaser, catnip filled mouses, and miscellaneous strings/elastics that he likes to play with. He also has multiple beds around the house and many boxes that he enjoys sleeping in. He has all the food that he wants, multiple different kinds of kibble and canned food, cream tube treats, and normal treats. I think he has enough stimulation at home, especially since we take the time to play with him occasionally everyday. My parents simply think he's sad and depressed since he: still meows to go outside, and likes to always look out to our yard. I think looking outside is just a behaviour all cats display, since they enjoy it, not because they are depressingly yearning to go outside. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Since I go to university and do not live at home with them during the school year, they argue that if they have to "bear the burden" of hearing him meow constantly, that they should get to make the final decision of making him an outdoor cat or not. While I do feel sorry that I'm not home to take care of him, I do not feel guilty that I am attending university and this is our cat, not just mine. We adopted him together, and they're always spoiling him and giving him hugs and kisses all the time. They say they love him, until he annoys them; then they want me to quickly move out and take him with me. I honestly don't know what I should do anymore. I really don't want to let him out since there are so many risks associated with it and he has already proven multiple times that he cannot make safe decisions while outside alone. I think harness training him is the best compromise, but they refuse to even consider my arguments. Could I get some advice on what to do? How I should talk to my parents such that they take into consideration what I'm saying? I'm completely lost.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ni9nkh/how_do_i_convince_my_parents_to_fully_transition/
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