Hi, thank you so much for reading this. Please don’t lecture me or reprimand me because I know that what I’m about to say is horrible and I’m already beating myself up over it.
I’m 18. For the past two years, I’ve wanted a cat so badly I would die for one. I would spend all my free time and extra pocket money at cat cafés, watching videos on how to raise cats/reviews on best litter or food brands, look after neighbors' or friends' cats, and take care of strays that I found. I was a fanatic and had already bought all the things I needed for my future cat- the cat tree, toys, litter box, bowls, and more. I was planning to finally seal the deal when I went to my first apartment at college this August and adopt an adult cat so that it would be easier for me as a student and part-time worker.
Well, I was at a shelter in late June, and absolutely fell in love with this little kitten with cerebellar hypoplasia (very mild) and took him home within the next few days. I wasn’t expecting at all to get a kitten and not an adult cat but it happened.
He adjusted very well to my home. As of now, he’s only been introduced to my bedroom and bathroom (fairly spacious and he’s having a good time) and he’s doing great. He drinks well, eats ok, uses his litterbox perfectly, sleeps on my lap, and plays like a maniac. He bites a LOT, like a lot, but I get it. He’s a kitten. I usually have severe cat allergies but with him, it's super mild, and when I take medicine it's barely noticeable. He's a perfect textbook kitten that so many cat owners would die to have.
It’s the fourth (almost fifth) day now, and I’m starting to have some serious regrets. I feel so tied down and exhausted- I’m constantly anxious and on edge because I’m worried he’s unhealthy or ill, or that I won’t be able to take care of him or pay him enough attention. I quit one of my jobs to be with him more and am with him 24 hours a day, sometimes 20 when I have work. But I can’t even go out with my girlfriend for thirty minutes without being worried sick. My room smells and I can’t light candles or use fragrance to help (bad for cats), and I’m sick of the bite marks all over me. I knew going into this that a kitten wasn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows- I’m knowledgeable on cats, but seeing it firsthand is a lot different. His poops stink up my entire bedroom, even if I clean them in the litter genie seconds after he’s dropped them. I'm constantly at the litterbox cleaning up after him since he pees 8 times a day (he drinks so much freaking water. A whole bottle a day. The emergency vet and his shelter both said this is normal behavior and not to worry, but what the heck?). His food smells horrible and when he licks my things afterward they smell too. I feel so tied down but I have to be here because he's a growing kitten who needs attention and there's no way I can adopt another kitten for him to play with. I can barely deal with the one. I don't think he's being neglected in any way, in fact, I think I'm doing a great job taking care of him. I've researched a lot beforehand. But it's taking a toll on me that I didn't think it would. My depression has skyrocketed since getting him and my anxiety has, too. I was hoping a cat would help with both of these and help me feel less lonely all the time but it's making it worse. If anything, I feel more lonely since I've been completely detached from the outside world. I can't see my girlfriend anymore and I don't work so I don't interact with people. Financially it's a little tight since I'm a working college student but it's not at the top of my worries.
He's a little over 2 months old. And my shelter made it clear that if it didn't work out with him, I was required to take him back to them and not surrender him to anyone else. I don't know if I should take him back now while he's not too attached to me and still a cute kitten that would get adopted easily or if I should give it a little more time and see if my regret blows over like other forums said it might. I'm afraid if I wait too long that the shelter will have a hard time finding him a home. Also, I move to a different state in mid-August so it won't be easy to surrender him when I'm a 5-hour drive out. I just don't know if I'm ready to take care of another living being that requires so much from me. I'm scared that if I surrender him I'll regret my decision and want him back and be even more depressed over it. Or that years down the line, when I'm really and truly ready to adopt a cat, I'll be consumed with guilt and not want to anymore. I'm so lost and confused and would really appreciate any words or advice anyone has for me.
Thank you for reading this far. I'd be happy to answer any questions.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/oddzw2/cat_adoption_remorse_please_help/
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