Friday, 3 January 2020

Your cat dislikes X thing because it's not a dog. Stop hoping it is one

I guess this is like a mixture of a meta post and a PSA. I see a lot of threads in this sub that goes something like, "Help! My cat hates ______."

Your cat hates _______ because it's a cat. A lot of people compare cats to dogs and then quickly get upset when their cat doesn't love everything your throw at it like we expect dogs to. So, here's a list of some stuff that I see a lot and my personal reason why your cat feels that way. Links to some articles I referenced will be at the end. Disclaimer: I am not a behavior specialist or any other animal professional. I do have years of experience caring for stray cats and living in a multi-cat home, and have done a lot of answer digging myself.

  • Help! My cat hates this other cat!
    • Cats are naturally solitary animals. It is almost guaranteed that your cat will have some form of stress its entire life if there is another cat in the home. Yes, there are stories of cats that love each other and cuddle every night. Expect that this is the exception, and not the rule. Even cats that seem to like other cats may have just bonded to this one and would still be stressed/aggressive around other ones.
    • If you have a cat and it is being introduced to a new cat, first do so through a closed door. Keep the cats visually separated until they have lost interested in one another. After this, visually introduce them, but still keep a barrier. So use a babygate or something of that sort. Once again, do this until the cats have lost interest. When they are ready to physically meet, make sure it is done in an area where both cats have an obvious escape from one another. So, try to do it in a room that has more than one exit.
    • Have at least 1 litter box per cat. It's recommended to even have 1 litter box per cat plus an extra, just to make sure there is always a "neutral" zone. Also make sure you have a food and water bowl for every cat.
  • Help! My cat hates being cuddled!
    • Also gonna start this with cats are naturally solitary animals. Also going to repeat that cats are not dogs. Cats are very sensitive to static electricity (which is why many are seen to excessively lick themselves before a storm due to humidity changes, which causes static). This is why so many cats will like being pet for a few seconds, but then quickly get upset by it. You were causing too much static in their fur. Stick to just giving delicate scratches around their chin and side of the head. Cats are intelligent enough that they will position themselves accordingly if they want you to scratch a specific spot.
    • Cats have entirely different body language than a dog. A wagging tail is not a happy tail, and a kitty that's rolled over is not asking for a tummy rub. If a cat rolls over when approached, it can be an aggressive position. The cat is readying itself to use all its claws against the threat.
    • A cat that is ignoring you is a happy cat. If it doesn't feel the need to watch your every move, this means it doesn't feel threatened by you. Also the opposite of dogs, since we know dogs like to stare at people they love. Another sign the cat is relaxed around you is if you make eye contact and they slowly blink. The slow blink is another indicator that they do not feel the need to defensively watch you. Some cats will do it back if you do a slow blink first!
    • Both cats and dogs typically do not like your hand suddenly reaching over the top of them. It makes them feel trapped. Instead, slowly reach your hand out low and palm up, and make sure the cat (or dog) saw your hand and was given a chance to smell it. If a cat awkwardly holds its mouth open or curls its lips after smelling something, it's just putting its Jacobson's organ into good use.
    • It is normal for a cat to not like being held. This also makes them feel trapped. The best way to hold a cat is to make sure you are making a firm platform with your arm or hand for the cat to put both of its feet completely on, and hold the cat loose enough that it can easily jump if it chooses to. If you need to pick up an aggressive cat or make sure it does not jump, wrap the cat loosely in a towel as you hold it. This makes it harder to jump and puts a barrier between your skin and their claws. Once again, make sure its feet have good support (the cat may panic if it feels its legs dangling), and you can also lightly grab some of the skin between their shoulders. Supposedly, grasping the skin between the shoulders on a cat helps to calm them because they instinctively will hold still since that is where their mother carries them as kittens. Grabbing a cat by this loose part of their skin is also the most humane way if you are having to very quickly grab a cat in an emergency situation. Avoid at all costs grabbing them by a leg or tail as either may dislocate or break.
  • Help! My cat hates X person!
    • Guess what? Cats are naturally solitary animals. It is very common for cats to be scared of visitors. If your cat does not like strangers coming over, do not force the cat to be around them. This will only make the cat dislike strangers even more. Your visitor can put up with the slight insult of your cat not wanting to be around them.
    • If your cat does become more confident and wants to investigate the visitor, do not make sudden movements. Let the cat decide how fast or slow it wants to go. Discourage the visitor from making intense eye contact with the cat, speaking to it, or reaching out to the cat. Let the cat make every first move. The visitor ignoring the cat is the most effective way they can tell the cat that they are not a threat.
    • If it is someone who lives in the home, once again, do not force the cat to be with the person. The more you push a cat, the more they will push back. Let the person in question start to be the one who feeds the cat. If a cat associates you as O Bringer of Food, they are bound to like you eventually.
    • Ask yourself if your cat really hates this person, or if they just don't care for them. Some cats only bond to one person and don't really care about anyone else. Some cats are just extremely independent and don't necessarily hate anyone, they just are content with being alone. If the cat hisses every time they see the person and pees all over their bed and clothes but no one else's, then yeah okay maybe the cat dislikes them. If the cat runs up to you for cuddles but doesn't run up to the other person, they don't hate them. The cat is just indifferent. Cats are going to be more enthusiastic about the person who does the majority of the caregiving (like feeding and grooming), not the person most willing to pet them.

TLDR: Your cat is not a dog. Do not expect it to have the same body language and social skills of a dog. If you wanted a dog, then get that instead.

Some articles I used: Common myths, Get a cat to like you, Types of aggression, Handling aggressive cats

submitted by /u/mypetscontrolmylife
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ejoy0y/your_cat_dislikes_x_thing_because_its_not_a_dog/

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