My first iguana died yesterday and I need to get this off my chest

For context, about 2 months ago my dad brought in an red iguana that his friend gave him, and we decided to name him Blanka, as in the street fighter character. Since we didn't have enough money to buy a basking light for him, we used to leave him on the balcony while he basks for about half an hour.

Everyday, I would bring him back inside and spray him with a spray can filled with water if he showed any sign of overheating. Yesterday I was so fed up with schoolwork and online classes that I forgot to bring him back in. He died from overheating on our own balcony.

I feel so horrible, I felt as if I should've bring him inside and he would still be alive. I feel bad for him, he's been in our house for 2 months and I've already felt more of a bond towards him than any of my family member, and then he just dies in the most slow and painful way possible. I feel like I should've at least checked on him, but I forgot and now he's gone. I already miss him even though he's only been here for 2 months.

This might sound dumb, but I made a promise to myself that I would take care of him till the very end. And that's why when he died, it felt much more personal towards me

I wish I checked on him, I wish I did something as little as look to the balcony then I would've known he was overheating.

But now I can't do anything, he's already gone and I miss him so much

For the last couple of days, I have been feeling immense guilt about when he died. I still think that if it weren't for me forgetting about him, he would still be here.

I'm sorry if this sounds like a sob story meant for you to upvote or leave an award, but I just needed to get this off of my chest because everyone in my family just says I should stop being sad so much about an iguana.

I'm sorry if I made you upset or that now you think that I am an incompetent pet owner. And I don't blame you for thinking that. I'm just so sad that he's gone and the fact I could've done something about it really makes me think it's my fault that he's dead now

submitted by /u/zyxxl
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/j30j0n/my_first_iguana_died_yesterday_and_i_need_to_get/