I adopted a 9 yo cat about 4 months ago, and I still feel like I may have made a terrible mistake. I took her in after her owner had passed away and his house had to be sold. She used to live with 3 other cats whom she did not get along with at all. Her owner's daughter told me she kept isolated in one of the rooms most of the time, as she's very territorial. When I went to see her for the first time she seemed really stressed and uncomfortable, which made total sense as she had lost her loving owner and watched as 3 cats disappeared from the home (they were all adopted). Yet, she promised me she's a loving cat and once she gets used to being with me she'll open up, come snuggle and be more chill.
Even though I did a lot of research before taking her in, looking back I think I made an impulsive decision. Although she does have her sweet moments, her behavior is way different than I expected. First, she has this weird obsession with the kitchen area. She gets really frantic there, blocking my access to different spots, meowing non-stop and occasionally attacking me (biting and scratching my legs). This continues as I exit the kitchen to other parts of the apt. I never know when she'll attack next, which makes me feel very stressed at home.
Her previous owner let her drink directly from the kitchen tap (I know cats love fresh water. Can't blame them really) so I let her get on the counter and drink, but this doesn't make her less hyperactive. Her tail vibrates constantly and I can't tell if she's excited or afraid, but she does not seem comfortable at all, no matter what I do.
I give her snacks, play with her every day and also give her space, trying to bond with her on her own terms.
Unlike what I imagined, she barely wants to be touched and gets aggressive when I try to pet her. When I try to gently touch her, she frowns and tries to bite back. Even at times she sits close to me and puts her head on my arm, I can never really enjoy petting her as I'm afraid of her reaction. She's also damaging all of my plants (which she can't be blamed for of course) and I find it hard to deal with.
I feel extremely guilty for wanting to return her or look for a new home for her, but I also feel like this might not be a good fit after all. I'm also scared to make another impulsive decision giving her away, but it hasn't been easy having her around. I was looking for a companion, a friend, a soothing presence (I suffer from anxiety and depression) but living with her only made me more anxious and stressed.
I contacted a cat advisor to schedule a session and get some help, but she asked me one question that's been bothering me ever since. She said "I can help, but know that it will take time and requires your full commitment to the process. The most important question here is do you love her? Do you feel connected to her? Do you want to spend time with her?" To be honest, I don't know.. I have good moments with her, but it's also hard to get attached to her as she stresses me out and attacks me.
I feel so helpless...
Looking for any piece of advice really. Thanks guys!
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ojb2ug/i_think_i_made_a_terrible_mistake/
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