I recently got a kitten who is four months old. She is very loving and cute in many ways but I think she maybe causing my anxiety and depression to get worse and I’m starting to not like her which then makes me feel worse.
Since day one of getting her I play with her for at least two hours in a day, have been petting her and cuddling her when she would like, and I clean her litter box multiple times a day, provide her two meals with wet food and access to dry food all day, and give her fresh water in two separate bowls twice daily. I have also provided her with several scratch poles, mats, and trees along with toys I use to play with her and interactive toys for her to use while I might be busy. And when I know I’m going to be gone for a few hours, I hide treats for her to find. She also has a cat tree with multiple hiding spots and her own bed along with other places to lay down. She has her own areas. She also has a crate with a bed in it. Plus I am harness and leash training her so we go outside on walks on the warmer days and I give her time to explore.
My issue with her is sometimes she starts showing behaviors and treats me like I abuse her. I’ve never hit her and I don’t yell at her. I have had to harshly tell her no and have had to stop her from hurting herself by grabbing her quickly before a dog got her. She has gotten time outs when she persistently does a bad behavior after being told multiple times no in a quiet but stern voice. For the time out I pick her up and put her in her crate with a sheet over it for a few minutes (usually after she stops meowing for two minutes) and let her out telling her she is good and petting her if she asks for it and giving her a treat. I have given her a bath and clipped her nails both of which she hated and tried to attack me for and then acted as if I was the worst person for doing those things despite speaking to her in a quiet voice, petting her, giving her treats after we finished. Even when she bit and scratched me until I was bloody. Is there something I can do better? She acts so happy one minute and content by purring and wanting me to cuddle her or playing and the next she is running away at the sight of me and hiding under the bed, yowling at me with her ears back and eyes dilated like she is scared of me even if I was just sitting in the same room with her not doing anything. And even though I try not to let it, it really hurts my feelings and has been making my depression worse and anxiety. She is making me feel like I’m a monster and I’m not sure what I could have or what I could do better. She just seems to one minute love me and the next despise me but then a later back to loving like nothing happened. Is she really just angry for the bath and nail clipping and time I stopped her from being attacked? Or am I doing something wrong?
To clarify, I have never once hit her, I do not scream at her, I don’t use a spray bottle, or even the nose tap people suggest online to discipline cats.
And I have to give her a bath every four weeks and clip her nails every two because if she gets smelly or hurts someone with her nails in the house they might make me get rid of her. But if that is whats making her act scared of me, what can I do?
But I am starting to feel like I have to keep my distance with her and stop loving her to protect myself . And it is honestly just making my depression so much worse. Am I just that unlovable? How can I feel like I bonded with her? Or is this just going to be a useless battle and get worse as time goes on?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/qynpp5/how_can_i_bond_with_my_cat/
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