I've been dealing with mental health issues (Depression, Anxiety, OCD) for a long time now and have also been feeling very lonely recently so I've decided to adopt a cat (First time getting a cat). I ended up adopting a small 4 month old kitten and she's absolutely adorable. I love her a lot but after the first day I've been feeling like I've made a massive mistake.
As she's a kitten she's super playful and she bonded with me really quick. At least I think she did. She's really cuddly which I just love. She needs a lot of attention which I'm willing to give her and have been giving her as much as I can. But I just still feel like I'm not the right owner for her.
My first concern is that she gets pretty violent from around evening till the early morning hours, which I've heard is pretty normal for cats but it's making me even more worried. She constantly bites and scratches me, throws everything off my shelves, scratches my TV and screens etc. Sometimes she goes into her litter box, uses it then digs everything out of the litter box, sometimes she pees on my pillow or on the bed but I'm guessing I just need to litter train her more. I've been very worried that she'll end up injuring herself or hurting herself when I'm not looking and that's been making me lose sleep. I've had her for about a week and I barely get sleep at night because of how active she gets at night and how anxious I get over her doing something and getting injured. Her moving things around and throwing things off my shelves also really messes with my OCD but nothing feels worse than her touching things like wires, power outlet switches, other electronics, which is something I already have a hard time with because of my OCD. She seems very attached to me but during those hours she bites and scratches me even if I go near her
I also feel like I've lost a lot of freedom, I stay out a lot for college and I go out a lot for walks but now I'm struggling to do either of those because I'm worried sometime might happen to her, I haven't left the house once since I got her. I can't sleep properly and when I do fall asleep during the day she either wakes me up or bites me. Her behavior is really weird sometimes as she goes from being all cuddly with me to suddenly attacking me and chasing me out. It doesn't help that my 2 friends who have 5 and 3 cats each are telling me something is off with the cat and that it's behavior is way too out of place and erratic. Not sure how I feel about that as it's just a kitten, but that's that.
Her acting like this and my mental health problems and me feeling tired 20 hours a day for no reason makes me feel like she deserves a much better home and people who are actually capable of keeping pets. I feel like she deserves way better and that I'm failing to give her the attention and training she deserves because I'm way too sensitive and scared over this whole situation where I just lose my mind if she acts violent. I love her so much and I know that I'm going to miss her a lot. I feel so damn guilty about wanting to return her. Really feel like I'm a horrible person and made a decision that I shouldn't have. But her being in a better home with better owners is much more important to me right now than my emotions and the post-returning sadness and regret. I still have time so I really want to know if I'm making the right decision by wanting to return her for her own good.
Tl;Dr got a cat to not feel as lonely or miserable due to anxiety and depression, ended up feeling even more anxious and depressed about not being able to give her the perfect home and more love and care that she deserves. Feeling like a horrible person now that I'm thinking about returning her.
Sorry if this was a long post, just wanted some advice and needed to vent as I don't have anyone to talk to or get help from about this. Thank you :)
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/r6ajsg/feeling_absolutely_awful_about_wanting_to_return/
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