My husband and I adopted a dog today, an adult female 25 pound Australian cattle dog-ish mix from a local shelter.
We've had a wonderful cat, an only child, for 4 years. We had talked about getting a dog as well for ages (our cat thinks he's a dog) and recently we met an older rescue dog that really got into our hearts.
It all happened a bit fast. We met her three days ago and now she's here.
The introduction between our cat and the new dog today (we carefully researched how to do introductions) went pretty poorly. She later barked at our cat from across the room while crated, and also lunged at him once when we were taking her past his space to go out for a walk.
The dog has also been freaking out in her crate, whining and scratching and acting out. She pooped on the floor once.
We've been doing our best to be authoritative, to set boundaries, to reward good behavior, etc.
It hasn't even been 12 hours but my anxiety is through the roof. My husband doesn't share emotions much but I can tell he's overwhelmed too.
We live in a two bedroom apartment that's pretty spacious but currently, we have the dog crated in my husband's office and my husband is sleeping on the floor there to keep her company. The door is closed. I'm in the bedroom with the cat.
I'm terrified that they will never get along and that my husband and I have royally fucked up.
The dog's foster said that she was fine with a cat in their house. We saw her interact with cats at the shelter and all she did was sniff, and then back down if swatted at. We weren't allowed to do a meet and greet with the dog at our place (which we requested) due to shelter policy.
I'm trying my hardest to focus on the fact that it's been a stressful day for everyone, that it takes time to build relationships, that the dog has been through a lot, that my husband (a lifelong dog owner) and I (a lifelong cat owner) are capable and cut out for this.
But I can't help thinking that maybe we screwed up.
Maybe we rushed into it. Maybe our cat would be happier alone and maybe the dog would be happier in a home without a cat. Maybe we aren't cut out for this. Maybe the cat and dog aren't the right fit together.
The shelter said that if we ever had to return her, it would be okay because we'd essentially have fostered her and they can adopt her out next time with more information. So if worst comes to worst... which I don't want to do... we can return her and she will have an opportunity for a better life.
I'd feel like such a failure. I'd be devastated to say goodbye. My heart aches just thinking of putting her back there. I want to try and fight and make this work. I'm also terrified that our cat is going to be attacked or have to hide all day.
I don't know what to do. I'm too tired to cry. I'm on the verge of a panic attack (I get them almost weekly). Please help.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/aqg1bc/i_think_i_made_a_mistake_seeking_advicetips_re/
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