Hi. Please don’t judge me I already feel horrible! Apologies for the wall of text. I have been dying for a cat for a few years but haven’t been in a stable situation to feel it would be fair to a cat. My husband and I finally recently moved into a nice and large apartment that allows pets and I was so excited to get a cat finally. For context, I grew up with cats so I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. I went through an adoption agency where the cats are all in foster homes and they attempt to match you with a cat based on lifestyle, etc. you have to meet the cat at the foster home before you adopt them. I put a lot of thought into what kind of cat would be the best fit and also making an ethical decision. I have an anxiety disorder and was hoping for a cat that would lay on me and purr because this was something that always comforted me growing up. I really only wanted to be a one cat home and felt very against buying from a breeder. I also didn’t think a kitten would be right because we work during the week and I didn’t want them to go crazy being alone during the day. Now I’m reevaluating everything.
We finally found a cat that we thought would be a good fit for us. The service was aware of our preferences and the fact the cat would be alone during weekdays. We were told he was loving, quiet and well behaved and he was very friendly when we met him. The foster parent said he was swiping at the ankles sometimes but she was using a spray bottle to stop him. I don’t agree with the use of a spray bottle but one of my cats used to swipe my legs occasionally so I figured this wasn’t a big deal and pretty normal. She also said she closes him out of her bedroom at night because “he seems like the type to mess with you while you sleep.” I should have known this was a weak admission. (Also background: he’s three years old, neutered, and he was found in SC and came to the foster home covered in dirt. I think he was probably a stray so given his background I think he’s doing well but that doesn’t change how it’s been affecting me)
So we get the cat on a Friday and all seems good. He does attack my feet under the covers a bit and bit my arm once that night but I figured he’s just anxious. It’s a play attack not really painful just super annoying. He seemed great over the weekend. He was definitely playful but we had bought a lot of toys to prepare for his arrival. The bothering me at night stopped almost completely until Monday.
After his first day alone all day we got home and he becomes extremely vocal, practically BEGGING for food even after we’ve fed him. Following me around so I trip over him and biting/pawing at my ankles. It’s hard to tell if it’s for food, affection or play but he doesn’t use his claws or bite hard. It’s just very stressful and keeps me on edge as I walk around. My husband played with him the the feather wand thing for almost two hours before we settled in for bed that night. That night be kept me up until 1:30 am attacking my feet, swatting at my face and biting my arm until I finally fell asleep. He then proceeded to wake me up several times throughout the night which is not great since I have a hard time falling back asleep due to my anxiety. Sometimes he would let me pet him for a little bit before turning to trying to bite and attack me again.
The next day I am defeated and exhausted. I end up buying more toys for him on amazon hoping it will help him get his energy out during the day. I also researched strategies for dealing with this behavior, i.e. not reacting to the attacks, etc. That night we decide if he attacks me in bed we will kick him out of the room. This is not what I wanted for a cat but I need my sleep. Pretty shortly after I lay down he attacks me so my husband puts him out. Thankfully he didn’t whine or scratch on the door. I thought wow at least he behaved! Plus I got some sleep. I get up to feed him and then go sit in the bed and look at my phone. He comes up to get pet which I am thinking ok this isn’t so bad. But then after a minute he starts biting and attacking my knee and I just break down. I spend the whole morning sobbing while I get ready.
I did not want a cat that needs to play ALL THE TIME! I feel deceived by the adoption service. It seems that this cat would be better in a home with more than one cat and maybe older children and/or someone that works from home. There’s no snuggling, there’s no lap sitting, there’s only some petting occasionally. He usually makes it clear when he does and doesn’t want pets. I do not want to have to kick my cat out at night. I wanted a cat that might be there to purr next to me when I’m having anxiety in the middle of the night. Now I’m having all of these thoughts about how maybe a breeder wouldn’t have been a terrible idea considering what I was looking for in a cat companion. Or maybe a kitten would have been better because they would be raised to be socialized around people and only know the indoor apartment life. I can’t come home everyday and be hounded by a cat to the point that I am losing sleep. I understand we are in an adjustment period but I feel so resentful and then extremely guilty for feeling that and also mad at the adoption service and so confused about what to do. I always said once we get this cat that’s it. We are now even considering a second cat because that might make him happier. I don’t want to jump into anything though cause it could totally backfire. I just really don’t know what to do and I’ve been on and off holding back tears while at work today. Has anyone been through this or have any advice?
[link] [comments]
from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/fa3469/cat_adoption_regret_help/
No comments:
Post a Comment