A friend of mine exclusively stays at her boyfriend’s house, which is about 30 minutes away from her apartment. This is a relatively new relationship (less than 2 months old) so they have not officially moved in together. My friend says she stops by her apartment during her break from work to feed her cat. Her boyfriend does not like cats, so bringing her cat to his house is out of the question.
My friend recently asked me to check in on her cat while she was away with her boyfriend for the weekend. When I opened the door to her apartment, I was immediately hit with the very strong odor of ammonia. Her cat was also standing right in the doorway, meowing at me very loudly. The litter box looked like it hadn’t been scooped in weeks, and I’m positive the cat was peeing everywhere in the apartment.
My friend didn’t ask me to do much, just to fill up the cat’s food bowl, and she offered to pay me. I fed her, filled up her water, and gave her tons of love and attention. I even brought her some new toys because I know she’s being neglected. I didn’t end up taking the money my friend left for me because it just felt wrong taking it.
I can’t help but feel extremely concerned about the cat’s health and happiness. I’ve heard about cats getting depressed and stressed out when they’re experiencing change or left alone for too long, and their health can decline rapidly. With the apartment reeking of ammonia and the constant meowing, I fear that she’s suffering from a UTI or some other health problem, though I’m no veterinarian.
While I want to say something to my friend about my concerns, I worry I will upset her. I know it has to be done for the wellbeing of the cat. However, my friend also recently lost her brother to suicide, so I don’t want her to feel as though I am attacking her during a sensitive time. But she clearly has only been doing the bare minimum for this cat, and it appears to be negatively affecting the cat’s health.
I am happy to help my friend in any way possible, but I know some people may take offense to that or they may feel embarrassed. I’d offer to take her cat to the vet, gift her an auto feeder and a water fountain to ensure the cat is getting fed and hydrated, check in on the cat when my friend is unavailable, etc. I would like to offer to take the cat into my home, temporarily or permanently, so that she is not being neglected. However I feel that my friend would not be accepting of that, and I also have a cat of my own that may not get along with her.
What is the best approach in this situation?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/o5ex0m/my_friend_is_neglecting_her_cat/
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