When my ex and I met in 2014 I had 2 cats. One young and one an older cat I adopted. Ex didn't grow up with pets, but fell in love with my cats. We also got a dog together that we agreed he would keep if we broke up.
Very long story short, ex and I broke up beginning of 2018. Late 2018 my mental health declined, which resulted in me not being financially stable or having a stable place to live. The cats went to stay with my ex. June 2020 I finally moved into my own apartment, but its a very tiny studio with a door that opens to a parking lot. My ex lives in a huge apartment that opens to a 3rd floor hallway. Since the cats sometimes dart out the door, we decided it was best they stay with him.
I am currently looking for another place to live with my partner I met 2 years ago. Ex and I have discussed doing "split custody" once we find a suitable place. Ex lives in an expensive area, the area I'm looking at is 35-45 mins away from him. Ex wants to do 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. I feel like a 45 min drive every 2 weeks will be stressful for the cats.
Since moving to my apartment last year, I've been taking care of the apartment cats. I've taken 7 cats to our no kill shelter. 1 I fostered for a month and found a home directly. Its been a huge honor to help these cats even though it can be hard emotionally.
The last apartment cat had 3 kittens in March. I didn't find them til mid May. The plan was to trap the mom cat and kittens as I can to take them to the shelter. But a couple weeks ago a neighbor kid knocked on my door to let me know a kitten climbed in someone's car engine. I pulled her out and brought her in my apartment. Since she was born feral she was so scared. I decided to keep her for a few days to socialize her before taking her to the shelter.
Back to my cats. I have no idea when I will find a place to move that I can bring them. Could be soon or 6 months. And once I do move ex and I have decided to do "split custody" which I understand because he loves them. But I feel traveling 45 mins every and changing environments every 2 weeks will be very stressful on them. I also feel just completely taking them from him would be wrong too. Plus they are technically his property now and I don't think he would do it. I'm starting to get attached to the kitten. But keeping her means giving up my cats (1 cat won't accept another cat). I know the cats a very loved and well taken care of by my ex. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is here.
Tl;dr let ex take cats due to life circumstances and now I'm unsure if I want to do "split custody" or have him keep them
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/nxhela/split_custody_for_cats/
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