Hi all, thanks for taking the time to read my thread. I hope I can try and clear up my thoughts and try and make things work before I have to make a serious decision.
So, a few years back, my family took in a stray cat we found wandering in our yard. We have a feeling she was dumped by the main road near our house since she acclimated to being indoors extremely quickly. We grew attached to each other and she was an indoor/outdoor cat for a while. Until she got pregnant.
It was unexpected, but she had three kittens in the warmth and safety of our home. I ended up keeping the only boy since I had grown attached to him as well. Things between the two of them have been rocky ever since his sisters were given away.
He can't approach her (or even walk by her sometimes) without getting hissed/swiped at, and they are constantly chasing one another. I would think it was playing if she didn't hiss at him constantly while running away from him. Things have only gotten worse since I moved into an apartment and brought them with me.
They're both fixed, they both get plenty of attention and love from me, my husband and our roommate, and they always have fresh water and food available. I don't know what to do anymore.
There's also the male's misbehavior. He will caterwaul beginning at around 5:30-6:00 in the morning (I have them on a strict feeding schedule of 6:30am and 6:30pm for wet food, and I leave a bowl of dry food out at night to try and prevent the caterwauling) and will not stop until he's fed, and even then sometimes he'll continue afterwards. I am not exaggerating when I say I have not gotten a full, consecutive 8 hours of sleep since we brought him to the apartment, which was over a year ago. He will also act like a little terror close to dinner time, again not letting up until he's fed. I have been strict at the time of day and do not feed them until those times I mentioned above.
He also is some source of stress for my female cat. I think he's trying to play with her when he approaches or chases her, but has never gotten the message that hissing and swiping means back off.
I've tried everything in the book and then some, and I just don't think I can take it anymore. My husband had admitted that he really wants to like my male cat, but just can't seem to what with the behavior issue. And before anyone makes any assumptions, my husband has never, EVER made me choose between my cats and himself (the cats came into the picture years after we started dating) and keeps genuinely trying to at least come to some kind of mutual respect between himself and my cat. He is a good cat when he's calm and has a full belly, which can happen when they're far enough away from each other (though I don't know how my female cat has determined an acceptable distance).
Any advice? I've tried one of those calming pheremone diffusers, but that didn't work. I want them to get along and start getting full night's sleeps, but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to re-home either of them, but I also want what's best for them, even if it's not with me. Thanks for reading through my wall of text, I appreciate it and any advice you're willing to leave.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/b2dw4i/cat_aggression_and_misbehavior_not_sure_how_much/
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