My dad’s life is heart breaking. He is a single parent with two kids who are both living in different states for college. My mom left us when I was in my first year of high school, running away to live with family. They both immigrated from Korea and a majority of my mom’s family came as well, so she has a good support system.
My dad however, has no family members outside of me and my sister that live in the US. He hasn’t visited Korea since 1999 because it’s illegal for him to. He’s forced to work under harsh conditions for little pay, he has very little access to healthcare, and he must be so lonely. Stoicism is common for asian men and my dad is no exception. He tries very hard to hide his pain and it’s very hard to tell when he’s happy. He hardly ever smiles or laughs... unless he’s with our dogs.
We had two maltese brothers that we got in 2008, the younger was the aggressive smart one (Chadori), and the older is kinda ditzy but very kind (Beethoven). My dad saw them as his own children, he pretty much loves them as much as he loves me and my sister. When he interacts with them he’s always smiling.
One day, when my older sister was visiting from college, she noticed that Chadori’s stomach felt bloated and he was panting a lot. We hadn’t really noticed because we see him everyday and just assumed it was because of the summer heat. After she went back to college, we found a vet to take him to and he was unsure of what was happening. He said that it’s probably fine, but warned us to not feed him that much. We followed his advice but a week later we found him dead in the living room after coming home from work together...
My dad was devastated, I had never seen him cry before other than tearing up a bit rarely. It really traumatized him. He hasn’t been the same since that day, a lot of energy has been drained from his soul. If it weren’t for Beethoven, I don’t know what would have happened. He still gets a lot of joy from him but it’s definitely not the same. Beethoven has recently lost his vision, so a lot of the things he loved to do (like going for walks) have become impossible. Beethoven was just as depressed as my dad was when Chadori died, and we were mentally preparing for him to pass away soon as well.
It’s been a little over two years since then, and Beethoven is still surviving at age 13. I still worry everyday about whether or not I’m ever gonna see him again. I love him so much but I worry more about how my dad will react. It scares me to think that Beethoven might be the only thing giving him purpose or a reason to smile. We’ve been debating getting another dog since Chadori died but there’s a lot of things holding us back.
Reasons: 1. My dad works 8-10 hours a day 6 days a week; he has very little time to take care of the dog. 2. He has told us to not get another dog, but he’s someone who always tells us not to get things for him. Whenever we try to get him a gift he always denies it until it’s already purchased (then he appreciates it). 3. He will get his heart broken again in 0-2 years and 10-15 years. 4. We should probably get him two so they don’t get lonely. 5. We should get the dogs before Beethoven dies, but I need to be there to potty train them, etc. (Would a month be enough during winter break?)
What do you guys think about reason #1? Should I let my dad enjoy the last few months/years with Beethoven, have his heart broken, and never have to experience that again? Or do I risk the future for the present. Has anybody experienced anything similar?
TLDR: Dad has a fucked up life, dogs bring him so much joy. One dog died, second dog is going to die soon. He lives alone and all he does is work. When the second dog dies idk what will happen to him. If I get a new dog he won’t be able to spend too much time with it bc he works so much. What do I do?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ivtp5z/do_i_risk_future_heartbreak_for_present_happiness/
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