Hello all, I’m on here because honestly I don’t know where else to be. My kitten fell off my balcony yesterday, she was 7 months old. I love her so much, she meant the world to me. I live on the 16th floor so I’m sure she died instantly. I believe in predestination, so I believe she died when she was meant to.
But I feel so guilty.
Earlier this year I had a male cat who died the same way. He had a habit of going on balcony railing so we’d constantly stop him. We ended up putting spikes on the railing so he wouldn’t go, and he stopped for months. Until one day he went again and slipped and fell. He was also so young, a little over a year old. The kitten I had currently spends nearly all her time outside and never went on the railing. I have an older cat who doesn’t go as well, so I thought both of them will be okay and that the male cat who died was a special case. Yesterday ago my mother was telling me that she saw the kitten on the railing, she brought her down and brought her inside. Later on that day my sister let both cats out. When I came home she had fallen. I feel so guilty, I should’ve told my sister to not let them out no matter how much they meowed.
I was so close to my kitten because she would constantly get sick for some reason or the other and I became her nurse. For most of her life I was feeding her meds or giving her baths with medicated shampoo, or whatever she needed at the time. Now I feel like I didn’t deserve to have her because my irresponsibility caused her to die so young. I don’t know what to do, I’ve been going to work and school but I my heart feels so heavy and I’m either numb or crying uncontrollably.
So I wanted to ask, am I responsible? How do I live with the guilt of knowing what I’ve done? Will I ever get over this? I know it’s weird to ask a bunch of strangers but I don’t think I could say any of this out loud. Thanks for listening
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/j3mua1/i_lost_my_kitten_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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