Background: I bought 2 cats at the beginning of our relationship, 5 years ago. We agreed they would officially be my cats as he did not want to commit to owning pets as he travelled a lot for work. I took care of all the duties: Veterinary appointments, paid every single vet bill over 4 years, bought all food, cat trees etc and also did the lion's share of day to day feeding and maintenance. (No matter how many times I'd ask him to help feed the cats, he just wouldn't do it cause he'd forget or was a bit lazy). Legally, these are my cats and I therefore have a right to take them away with me following the end of our relationship.
They've currently been staying with him on the agreement that I will decide in coming months what I will do with the cats once settled in my new home (I had no home in the UK once we split up and moved to America where I have a home).
I spent 4 months considering all options carefully and decided I will bring them to the US with an airline that lets them fly cabin. I've made plans for specialised cat fencing etc here to ensure they have just as good a quality of life. Anyway, yesterday I told him + he kicked up a huge fuss. Said he wanted to keep one, that it was a fair compromise, that he didn't know how he would cope without them and that I needed to think 'carefully about what you're doing to me. It's incredibly cruel'.
I now feel really torn and emotional about everything. There is a history of him making me feel in the wrong/ guilty about things so it's hard for me to separate the emotions right now and feel clearly about what my gut is saying is right for me. I need a bit of objectivity, Reddit! What would you guys do? I feel really bad for him being so upset and I want us to remain amicable. He did some unkind things to me that led to us breaking up, so part of me wonders if I should even consider this. Rationally, I know I have every right to request both cats back but part of me wonders if I am being fair/ should reconsider? It's really hard for me to imagine them being apart though, or just not being in my life.
NB. They aren't super closely bonded. Get on each other's nerves a bit as siblings do but they also get a lot of reassurance and stability from each other's presence. FYI, my ex travelled a huge amount for work. I expect him to continue to travel in future, ie Probably away 5 months of the years on average.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/kdc2jv/any_experience_of_ex_requesting_one_of_your_pets/
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