How do I know when to re-home my cat?

I am heartbroken posting this. I feel like a total failure and never imagined I would be in this situation. This will probably be all over the place, and I apologize in advance.

Two months ago, I adopted a wonderful rescue puppy (now 9 months old) from a rescue that was dishonest about a few things. His posting said that he was neutered, good with cats and good with kids. However, he was NOT neutered at the time (he was fixed a few days ago), is very apprehensive about kids and not very good with cats at all. I doubt he ever even come in contact with them before.

I have a 1 year old cat and we are still keeping them separate. It is a lot of work coordinating this, and my cat seems miserable, honestly. She is usually comfortable with dogs, but absolutely hates him. They have met briefly, first introduced under the door for a few days, then through a baby gate, then face-to-face under strict supervision and while I am holding him by his harness. He wants to play with her, but he's a 45lb shepherd/chow/pitbull mix and obviously that is not going to happen.

He begins training classes with one of the best dog trainers in my region next month, and I anticipate he will calm down quite a bit as he matures and recovers from being neutered, but I just don't know if it's enough. I don't want to keep my cat separate from the world forever, she seems so sad and I honestly think she would be happier elsewhere. I have a family friend who would love to take her in and would let me visit her.

I feel horrible trying to choose between them, but he is very bonded with me and it has taken a lot of work to get him out of his shell. He is very happy with us and honestly, he has helped me so much. I think my cat would genuinely be happier with my friend. She is very independent and likes my friend very much. It breaks my heart imagining my home without her, but it isn't fair to stifle her quality of life just because I love her. Some of my friends and family think I'm jumping the gun, but I just don't want her to be unhappy anymore.

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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/o5g4kq/how_do_i_know_when_to_rehome_my_cat/