So my lovely small to mid size rat terrier/toy poodle mix is a 6 years old unneutered male and has been with us his whole life. Hes always had separation anxiety, whereas he would beg and cry and get upset whenever he saw us putting on our shoes and getting up to leave as well as being aggressive to other animals and humans he doesnt know. (we take extra steps to walk him in a big backyard alone and put him in a special dog stroller with a shield if we do take him out.) He loves us a bunch and the immediate family he sees come around a lot, but just isnt social in general. He sits in my tiny efficiency all day, sometimes alone, but i try to make sure he has toys, treats, the tv on, and plenty of food and water if I will be gone all day, as well as he will go outside at least twice a day and i sit out with him as long as he wants. (usually 10-20 minutes each time) However, since me and my husbands separation, his behavior has been a problem for me, and i cant tell if its because in the past my husband was the main carer and Im having trouble handling it on my own, or if my dog is stressed from losing half of the people he really cared about in his life.
He will tear things up when i leave if i am not careful, such as the trash before i moved it to a spot he cannot get into, any loose candy or snacks if i leave it by my bedside or within his reach, or even whole unopened bottles of soda or juice i usually store on a low shelf. I might have solved this issue as I notice he does it more if hes hungry and i forget to fill his bowl with food and water and most days he will be good as long as i am vigilant in putting everything out of reach. He used to have a bad habit of peeing in our bed even when my husband was around, but we broke him of that, I thought, until just tonight I noticed for the first time in two years he's peed the bed! I was astounded that he suddenly picked this up again! And finally, in the past month, I noticed hes been chewing the fur off his back and scratching the fur off the back of his ears and face. He does not have fleas for sure, but I haven't ruled out a mild case of mange or even ants as the last time my husband came around and took him a bath he said he saw some ants, a problem i did have in the efficiency a little while ago but had no idea could affect dogs, though if he was getting bitten by ants, I don't know why he wouldn't just climb in the bed or chair away from them, he is allowed to after all? My husband does come around and see him every other day or so, I will ask him to feed him once or do some things like give him a treat, play with him for five minutes or cuddle, or even clean the occasional mess he makes while hes visiting. He is doing an ok job at co-owning but realistically, he really went from being "our" dog to "my" dog and he just visits now and then. I don't know if I'm just not used to dealing with him 90% of the time now or if my dogs behavior is because he misses his other parent and is acting out more than usual. I mean he always has been a bit of a troublemaker but it was a lot easier to curb when we were a team. I'm mostly concerned about his fur falling out and his scratching and chewing. I tried switching to bathing him in a special oatmeal dog shampoo, then i rubbed olive oil over his tender areas to try and relieve some of the skin irritation for him, and I even changed his diet completely in case he developed an allergy to something hes eaten, but nothing i do seems to be helping much. He does not leave the house, he goes to a secluded backyard for potty and does not interact with any other animals so I dont see how he could have caught anything. His environment is the same as its always been. The only change is the absence of my Ex.
I cannot afford at this time to take him to a vet, I intend to in the near future, but for now this is why i am turning to reddit. Has anyone who has separated from their SO dealt with this kind of thing from their dogs before? Can a dog really feel stressed to the extent i think my dog may have? Or am i going to need to consider new living arrangements for my dog? (as in going to live with his father, as I dont believe he is adoptable as a pet up for adoption. We would never do that to him) Ive never personally had a dog before him (though my ex has owned many) and we made the joint decision to adopt him in the first place so I accept responsibility in the breakup to do whatever I need to give my dog the best life I can give him in my power. Any advice?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/jh2axh/is_my_dog_stressed_over_a_recent_breakup_or_am_i/
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