I don't know if this is the right place to post but I really need some guidance. I've never had a pet in my entire life, I live with my mom who's never really liked animals but I've always adored cats. After talking about it a few times we agreed to get one and then it somehow turned into two. I was thrilled, it honestly felt like a dream come true after wanting one for so long.
Fast forward a few weeks one of the kittens is ready, we picked her up yesterday. Everything went well. The other kitten will be ready to pick up next week. I was a little anxious yesterday but that was expected, I'm autistic and I don't handle change very well. I know this is stressful for the kitten and if you were wondering I've been taking care of her very well, feeding her, playing with her, giving her some alone time too and just trying my best to make her feel comfortable. She seems like she's doing good, she's very playful and has been eating and drinking water and sleeping. She's the most adorable sweetest little cat and I really want to love and take care of her, same with the other- but last night I was so overwhelmed after everything that I went to bed a few hours earlier than usual and cried.
Today I feel a lot more than a little anxious, I spent most of the day in bed sleeping (Kitten is being taken care of well! My mom is a great help) and I'm feeling really depressed. I'm actually wondering if I made the wrong decision. Maybe deciding to get two cats pretty much at once was the dumbest decision ever. I really thought I'd be able to handle it but now that it's happening I feel so regretful, I'm autistic and even the littlest of changes throw me off and make me panic, I feel so selfish and stupid for overlooking these issues and not thinking it over properly. I want to keep her but I'm so scared of change I don't even want to look at her and thinking about taking the other kitten home fills me with dread. It feels like my entire world has been turned upside down and that's just so selfish to say because I know what they're going through is so much harder.
It would be significantly easier if it were just one cat but I'm getting more anxious as time passes knowing that I'm picking up another kitten next week and I don't even know if the two are gonna get along. I feel so guilty for feeling like this when I know it's more stressful for the kittens who have no clue what's going on. I've been thinking maybe I should just give them up before it's too late? I feel even more guilty that I'm considering that just after one day. I know many people feel like this after adopting pets but I feel like since I'm autistic it may be different, this anxiety is so overwhelming and I'm just so scared. I'm wondering if maybe they'd just be happier with a different owner?
Of course I'm not going to make a decision after a day, I plan to wait it out at least a few weeks to see if things get better, I'm just really struggling and this feels almost unbearable. I wish this wasn't happening right now and if I could undo it I really would, I just don't want to cause the kittens any further stress- but I almost feel like it's better to decide now, before I take the other kitten home and they both start getting comfortable. I also feel incredibly guilty and ashamed and I don't even know what I would tell my friends and family, I'm embarrassed. I also don't want to make another huge mistake because I know it's probably going to get better and I just have anxiety but I really feel like I can't do this.
I'm sorry if this didn't make sense and just ask if you want me to elaborate on anything, it's 4AM and I'm panicking. If you have any advice it would be much appreciated, and also if any of you have autism too it would be really cool to hear about your experience with pets and if you had the same reaction as me. Thank you for reading advice is appreciated <3
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/kkcgq1/adoption_remorse_autism_and_pets/
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