Feeling like a terrible cat owner

I'll probably delete later but I'm just looking either for reassurance or constructive criticism, whichever is appropriate.

I adopted a 7 year old female kitty from a shelter about a month and a half ago named Lacy. She definitely has a personality and it's been a process getting used to each other. She is easily overstimulated and annoyed, but at the same time she can be very needy when I happen to be busy. She also loves to sit and knead on me when I'm sleeping. I love her like she is my own child.. but I'm a stupid pet parent.

Today I made had the stupid, impulsive idea to let her out to the back patio to check things out because she likes being outside in her backpack, and I didn't want to go through that fuss. There is a small area that leads to other areas of my apt complex but I stood there thinking I can get her if she tries to go that way. It also has high walls she can't jump up. Well, of course she was too fast for me and she got out. She ran away from me when I tried to grab her so I ran inside and frantically opened a can of her favorite food. It didn't work trying to lure her with that, but I did manage to chase her back in through the back sliding door. Now I've probably, unintentionally, made her into a door darter.

My god, I am so angry with myself. I know how stupid it was and I feel like a terrible cat owner. What's more, when we got inside I tried to get her collar back on her so that if she ever accidentally gets out it would be slightly less terrifying (I took it off of her because she scratches at it) she refused to let me get close with it on and hissed when I actually tried to get it on her. I ended up just sitting on the floor crying because I got so stressed out. Would it make sense for Lacy to hate me now? I spend so much time playing with her, petting her, and making sure the environment is good for her but I would hate for a bad experience to ruin our progress.

submitted by /u/oliviaofneptune
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/kctedn/feeling_like_a_terrible_cat_owner/