TL;DR - Adopted a new cat for our 9 year old female to have as a companion, turns out she doesn't like cats. Additionally, the adopted cat has herpes (not disclosed/diagnosed when we adopted him) and way too much energy for our pre-existing pet home (where our animals spend most of the day napping in cozy spots).
Our apartment is home to a 8/9 year old female cat and a 3/4 year old female dog. When we adopted our cat, we were told that she was very cat friendly and despite her age, she's still somewhat energetic and wants to play several times a day. She's also always been extremely interested in cats on TV and seems to be lonely sometimes, wanting a bit more attention than we sometimes can give her when we both work full time and have plenty to do.
Based on all this and after tossing it around casually for almost a year, we decided to adopt another cat. Our resident cat was our primary reason for doing this - we wanted her to have a companion and someone to play with.
So, two weeks ago we adopted a cat from the shelter which we (re)named Tofu. Tofu is a 4 year old male cat with squinty eyes and a charmingly affectionate personality.
The biggest problem is that our cat hates him - and after only two weeks, there is a chance that this might clear up, but there's also a chance that it might not and that she might forever be stuck with another sibling she wishes wasn't here (she doesn't care for the dog much either). Stupidly, she still is fascinated by cats on TV, but Tofu she just hisses at and attempts to punch at every opportunity. So far they've only had one direct interaction (we're really trying to take it slowly but Tofu is miserable quarantined to the bathroom) and during that interaction they didn't fight, but she also wouldn't let him do ANYTHING. She followed a foot behind him and basically hissed at him every time he tried to stop and sniff or interact with anything, including things that aren't even hers - like the dog's food bowl.
On top of this issue, there are also two other issues with Tofu:
- We were told he had some "eye issues" when we adopted him (his third eyelid shows). One of the reasons we adopted him was because we wanted to get his eyes treated - we assumed it would be some medication/anti-biotics and it would clear up. We've send found out from our vet that he actually has herpes... And also needs some pretty extensive dental work. It's not clear what the cost will (anywhere from $400-$800) or what his care needs will be afterwards in terms of eating restrictions etc (he's already missing some teeth).
- He has way, way more energy than we ever anticipated. At the shelter they told us that they had seen him play with the other cats "a few times" (in his 4 months there), so we guessed his energy level would be on par with our cat or less... However, we were wrong. To be honest, Tofu has so much energy that I'm not even convinced he's four - I think he's likely younger and just has had a rough lot in life that makes him look older (I know they often 'guess' based on dental work and his teeth are awful).Tofu wants to play all the time - several times a day and it easily takes over an hour for him to tire out. On top of this he's very inquisitive and a much better jumper than our existing cat. She never gets on our counters and struggles to get on our desks, but Tofu has no issue with this... And has already expressed interest in many of the poorly mounted shelves we have in our office. They're fine for figures, but I don't think they could support an 11lb cat knocking things over. I'm genuinely worried that some day in the future he'll end up knocking down a shelf and hurting himself.
Last night we were listening to Tofu yowl from the bathroom (he hates being alone and hates being in 'quarantine' but between the herpes and how our resident cat treats him we don't feel like we can let him out yet) and had a serious talk with my boyfriend about returning him. We both agreed it's the logical thing to do - there are even a handful of smaller reasons along with these that also make him a poor fit.
We are probably going to call the shelter today no matter what, but honestly I just feel so guilty and like a complete failure. I don't have any special love for Tofu after the stress of the past few weeks, but I love him in the sense that I love all animals and I truly wanted to be able to give him a happy home where his eyes could get better and he could live a normal life. I feel beyond guilty about the prospect of making him go back to the shelter where he was clearly unhappy (even though I know we can't give him the best life either) but I also feel equally guilty for stressing our household cat out (unnecessarily) for two weeks.
I honestly don't know what I'm looking for with this post... I just feel like I needed to vent and I just feel so heart broken about this situation. We really do think this is for the best but I can't help but feel like crying every time I hear Tofu meow this morning.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/k8gwof/we_think_we_need_to_return_our_newly_adopted/
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