Lot of context, please bear with me.
I’m a single adult who, up until this last summer, had just one very special feline in my life. Rosa was a stray who found me at my first apartment, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. She’s my most constant companion and we’re very attuned to each other’s moods.
But 2-3 years ago, two noteworthy things happened. First was the discovery of a stray cat who I meant to adopt, but he suddenly and tragically died before I had a chance. The second was a series of surgeries to save Rosa’s life after she developed a mysterious and recurring mass on her jaw. Between the grief of losing my would-be second cat, and the fear induced by almost losing Rosa, I was a wreck.
I don’t have a lot of people in my life. My pets keep me functional. The anxiety caused by these events has made me extremely paranoid about losing Rosa and being left with... Well, nothing. The fear became overpowering as time went on.
The solution I came up with was to adopt a kitten. In my mind, a second cat could help to soothe at least some of my more selfish worries about being left without a cat if something were to happen to Rosa. Also, adding a second, younger cat while Rosa herself was still young seemed like a good move.
Enter Bonnie. After some kitten-hunting, I found 9-week old Bonnie on Facebook. I liked her temperament well enough and took her home. That was 7 months ago.
Bonnie is a cat. Not a companion, not a playmate, not a beloved pet, just... A cat. After all of this time interacting with her, providing for her needs and wants, and trying desperately to form a connection with her as an individual, it’s just not there.
It’s not her fault; She’s a great young cat! She’s affectionate enough, curious, and decently well behaved. Furthermore, my anxiety over the possibility of becoming catless has indeed improved. But every time I see Bonnie I just feel empty. I don’t hate her, and I certainly do care about her wellbeing, but I don’t love her. Not even a little bit. She just lives in my house, and that’s really saddening. More recently, while Rosa has been generally indifferent to her presence, Bonnie is now testing her boundaries by swatting at her. It’s correctable, but nonetheless distressing.
What should I do? I’ve often considered rehoming her to another loving family while she’s still young. If I do so I’ll feel like I failed, but I also don’t want my lack of genuine affection to affect her psyche negatively in any way, cats are sensitive and she deserves better than that. I just want to do what’s right by both of us.
Any help or advice, please? Thanks so much for reading.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/lkuamz/cannot_seem_to_bond_with_kitten_not_sure_what_to/
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