So some background:
I have 3 cats but for the purposes of this discussion only 2 of them are involved: Coffee and Ego.
Coffee was hand-raised by my SO after being found as a kitten still with her umbilical chord attached, abandoned in a cardboard box on the street. She had a same-litter brother but they were separated when they were kittens as our friend adopted the brother. Coffee is about 2.5 years old.
Ego is about 1.5 years older than Coffee. He was a stray but was was taken into a shelter and then subsequently adopted by my SO 3 years ago.
For all these cats, they did not have a very conducive environment when my SO had them. They were primarily kept in cages in the yard and occasionally let out because my SO's family did not like cats in the house. After we moved into our own place, we transitioned them to a lifestyle where they are free to roam our house throughout the day but kept in cages at night.
For Coffee, she didn't have a very cat-like childhood. Since she was hand-raised, she never really grew up interacting with other cats and thus, did not manage to learn many cat-like behaviours, for example she did not manage to learn to cover her poo in litter. Right now, she's the youngest and definitely exhibits behaviours of a young cat: running around and happily exploring the house, and being very attached to us as we walk around the house. She is also playful but as aforementioned, she doesn't seem to really know how to play.
She initiates play with Ego (she doesn't really like the 3rd cat so she only initiates on Ego) by running up to his butt and swiping at it. Most of the time Ego does not retaliate and walks away, not even running away. Other times Ego is surprised and sprints away and Coffee chases for a little while but the chase is usually short.
Occasionally Ego turns back at Coffee and looks like he wants to retaliate (it doesn't seem like a hostile intention to me, I think he wants to return the play). When this happens, Coffee will feel threatened, indicated by her ducking her head down in an apprehensive way while staring at Ego. When that feeling of being threatened builds up, it eventually turns to Coffee hissing, which becomes a sign to stop the play.
I find it really silly because Coffee is the one who initiated the play in the first play but when Ego wants to continue the play Coffee starts hissing, sort of like bully behaviour (only I get to win!).
TLDR; Coffee is a young cat who did not really grow up like a normal young cat and doesn't know how to properly act like a young cat. She wants to play but sometimes when she does, she feels threatened and starts hissing.
How can I teach Coffee the right way to play, especially now that she's not a kitten and is a young adult?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/mrue6g/my_cat_initiates_play_with_my_other_cat_but_when/
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