I'm really having trouble here. My patience is running thin unfortunately. Over a month ago I adopted a 2 year old cat from a shelter. I know I've messed up a lot , but I've tried really hard to give the best care possible.
But she still hisses and growls , runs away when I'm near, and just wants nothing to do with me. Maybe she's biased against men, although she seemed calm with the vets. She doesn't even hiss at other people, but just acts scared and meows.
Based on the history of the cat, I don't think it's been abused. But it didn't like the new husband if the original owner and lived in a pretty stressful environment especially given conflict with the other pet.
Most people have given advice with the big assumption that this is some normal cat and always seem confused when I describe the behavior or response. Yeah it would be great if my cat reacted to toys or food positively. It would be great if the pheromone spray would relax her. But it just seems like regardless of how much effort I put in, she seems like she's going to throw up her heart just from the sight of me.
I know that the best thing to do is just leave her alone. I've pretty much have done this (although I have definitely messed up ). She mainly investigates me at night which makes it hard to ignore her, but that's really the only interaction I have so she is given lots of space.
At the end of the day, I don't want this cat to be miserable. She eats, drinks, uses the litterbox, and sometimes plays with her toys by herself; but if she has a mini heart attack every time I'm nearby, maybe she would be significant happier somewhere else. Sometimes if you care for someone, the best thing is to let go.
And that's why I don't know if I should surrender her. I know it can take months or years for some cats to adjust, but when do I draw the line? How do I know if it's just going to be impossible? It's stressing me out mainly because I really wanted this to work out. Giving her up would make me so sad and I honestly would just imagine her just sitting there feeling like someone else gave up. I don't want that to be her future.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/fmdoh5/should_i_surrender_my_cat/
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