Our cat belongs to my girlfriend; we moved in together about five months ago. My girlfriend got her as a kitten from the shelter; apparently someone brought her back to the shelter while she was still a kitten, for reasons unknown. My girlfriend had her for two years before we moved in together.
Understandably, she is a love bug with my GF. She'll trill and follow her around the apartment, she'll curl up with her, she'll let my GF pet her at any time without attacking her (except when she's very riled up).
I knew it might take a while for her to adjust to me, but it feels like progress has plateaued for a while. This is where we stand:
Affection
- Sometimes she will rub against my hand if I hold it out completely motionless, but after one or two rubs she will often immediately claw at my fingers, sometimes with a hiss
- When standing still, she will sometimes rub against my legs, and then sometimes playfully attack my toes, and sometimes aggressively attack my toes and hiss
Play
- This is where our relationship is most substantive. I try to do this with her every day. This is also kind of newish for her; my girlfriend is really not interested in play and never does it, but I think it's a lot of fun.
- She loves the usual stick/feather toys, or chasing after thrown little plastic toy springs (awesome toy if your cat loves twist ties and much safer)
Care
- To help her get comfortable with me, I feed her exclusively; if I talk to her while filling her bowl she will often hiss and sometimes attack
Treats
- I generously give out treats; this is about the only situation where she will tolerate me talking to her
Other Observations
- She will only cuddle with my girlfriend if I'm not around; often when I come back into the room she will immediately hop off
- She doesn't like when I walk around and talk on my phone, she will usually ambush attack my feet when I do this and hiss
- She will sit in high traffic areas and often hiss and swat at me when I have to walk by
- Telling her to get off of things is something my girlfriend does exclusively since I can't afford to lose the points lol
- When not playing, I generally try to avoid interacting with her and giving her space to come to me (which doesn't happen yet)
I'm kind of at a loss for what else I could be doing and it's pretty obvious she's just not comfortable with me entirely. I've had cats most of my life and have never had experiences with a cat like this, not with my own cats or anyone else's. There are days I feel like I'm living an episode of My Cat from Hell and I have the scratches to back it up. I can accept that she will always be closer with my GF, but I'd just like to be able to occasionally pet the cat that I share a home with without being attacked.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/kthuj5/help_cat_will_rarely_ever_let_me_pet_her_but_play/
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