When we are alone with his cat if the cat does something he doesn't like or misbehaves he will shout it's name loudly and/or slap it and the cat runs away from him. When we got back to his place after being at mine for a few days (his housemate fed and watered it) the cat didn't run up to him or seem to care that he was back, it just tried to get out of his room. The cat seems very fearful about being touched and just in general. It backs its head away from my hand when I go to pet it and sniffs my hand for ages every time and then lets me pet it for a bit before running off again. It seems like it's in near constant anxiety. The cat also acts a lot closer with me than it does with him. He barely shows the cat any positive attention. He also hugged his cat really tightly one time until it screamed at him and then he just dropped it. He caught my dirty look at him while he did this and said "it's okay he's used to it, I've done this since I've had him". He also throws it onto his bed a fair bit or just picks him up and drops him to the floor.
He rescued the cat (found it in a bin bag) and said it was neutered too early which is why it acts weird. But I guess I don't think that's the full reason. I find him honestly vile when he does this and feel distressed around him for a while after whenever he does these kind of things. I haven't brought it up yet though.
I'm also a man so I feel safe enough to try and talk to him about it, my plan was to promise him I won't judge him and ask if he has been abused. Then to say I won't tolerate the way he treats his cat and that it needs to change and we can explore the reasons why he feels the need to act this way and work through them together. Then go from there?
Am I right that this is abuse? Is my plan wise?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/mnw4vx/i_think_my_boyfriend_is_abusing_his_cat_but_i/
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