Hello. Hopefully this is okay to post here. Before getting started pls know, I love animals, I literally save every spider (despite my fear), bees, butterflies, moth etc- in my room and take them all outside.
This is actually really hard writing bc my heart aches and I know I'll receive a lot of hate which is my biggest fear but I deserve it. Lately, I've been thinking of buying myself a new pet, the first in 10+ years but I am kinda scared of still being the asshole I used to be and falling back into the same scheme. As a kid I had 3 rabbits in a spawn of several years, one ran away after 2 years (don't rmbr him) and 2 bought later on, a cutie (m) and his ninja wife. At first I really loved them dearly, but after a few years - as expected of an immature, irresponsible dumb kid - I got tired of them. It didn't help that the wife hated me and I was never allowed to touch her husband whom I was quite fond of. So I started to stay away, neglected my duties as an owner (yes the worst scenarios) my mom took over the role but she raised 3 kids and worked fulltime. They were really pitiful and I really regret everything, they shouldn't have lived that way, they deserved to be treasured, loved and properly taken care of. They might've lived longer if I frequently tidied out their shelter but it disgusted me. I- I can't even spell it out without falling apart and feeling disgusted by myself but they lived surrounded by mice. FREAKING MICE. They walked in and out of their shelter and heck I once killed one by closing the lid as fast as possible. My rabbits had ... I'm sorry I can't describe this any further. It was a horrific condition and there's absolutely no excuse for this. Fuck (sry for cursing), I'm disgusted by myself just writing this but it's the truth.
Honestly, why did I do this? Looking back I feel like crying, I was horrible to them the point that even now my mom tells me 2 think twice before buying a new pet. Hence why I'm asking this here. It's definitely a hard question after reading all of this but do you think it's possible to change and get/take a new chance of properly taking care of it? If not that's okay too, I don't want to hurt them or have them live a miserable live. I want to treasure them, show them the world, hold them dear and properly value them. What I did can never be forgiven, even as a dumb child I should've valued them properly and there is absolutely no excuse for my behaviour. They deserved the world and I was truly an asshole. If possible I'd love to apologise to them and beg for forgiveness but sadly it's impossible, I deeply regret it.
/Pls excuse my English, it's not my native language/
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/fhrpmz/is_it_possible_to_change/
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