Guilt over rehoming

I’ve made the extremely tough decision about rehoming my 6 yr old male black cat. I’m heartbroken. Over the last few years he’s started with behavior issues and I can’t break him. Recently he’s been pooping outside the box and I keep making excuses. His box is clean. He even did it on a day when I changed it and didn’t even bother to go in the box. He constantly waking me up earlier and earlier. He refuses to settle down. His vet wants me to keep him drugged morning and night and I can’t do that to an animal. He’s a good boy but he’s running my life. I have to sleep in the car if people stay over bc he doesn’t like it and howls all night long. I’m afraid he won’t be adopted and will be killed. He’s on a special diet so he won’t be able to be rehomed easily and it makes me feel so guilty but I don’t have the money or resources to help him anymore. I haven’t stopped crying since I made the call to the adoption places. We have been thru so much together and I feel like a failure for not being able to help him but I refuse to keep him drugged all the time... that’s no way to live

submitted by /u/Modex2017
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/g2w478/guilt_over_rehoming/