Five weeks ago I adopted my first cat, Arlo, from the shelter. I have lived with cats in the past, but have never been the owner/provider of a cat until now, so I would say that I'm pretty inexperienced. Arlo is male and four years old. He's very playful, relatively friendly, but also tremendously scared of everything. He plays well, both on his own and with me, eats/drinks well, and uses the litter box with no problem. He has toys, multiple things to scratch, a carrier, a bed, and I've order a large cat tree that is supposed to arrive tomorrow. However, there are three main reasons why I'm considering returning him to the shelter:
- Arlo nips, not hard enough to break skin, but sometimes hard enough to be painful. There have been a few times when I'm getting ready for work in the morning that he's nipped the vein on my ankle, and once he's suck his head up my shorts while I'm going to the bathroom and nipped my inner thigh. Otherwise, he nips me when he's sitting in my lap, when I stop petting him, or if I pet him in a place he doesn't like. Based of off information I've found online, I'd say he nips purely for attention. I feel that as he's become more comfortable with me, his nipping has become more frequent and I'm afraid that it will also become more serious. When he does nip me, I say no really loudly and then ignore him (sometimes this leads to more nips) in an effort to try to teach him that nipping doesn't equate to affection.
- Arlo is scared of everything, mostly things that I simply can't control. He's scared of cars driving by, people talking outside, people opening and closing their mailboxes, people slamming their doors, the person in the apartment above me dropping things, the sound of my shower, the sound of the person above me showering, me doing dishes, etc. etc. etc. At first I chalked all this up to being in a new environment, but at this point I feel like progress is stagnating. My apartment simply has zero soundproofing, you can hear everything, and that's not going to change. When he's scared, Arlo's eyes get wide, his ears go back, and he runs away to hide in my bathroom. He's spent 80% of his time with he hiding in my bathroom cabinet. If I close the bathroom door he freaks out and starts panic meowing. I've had to tape all my bottom kitchen cabinets closed because he also tries to hide in there, but the access panel to my apartment's plumbing is in the cupboards, and he can open it and potentially get into the walls. (Also cats in kitchen cabinets are very unsanitary....) It is simply unrealistic for me to live with over half the cabinets in my apartment taped close for forever. In an effort to slowly move the cat out of the bathroom, I have since taped the bathroom cabinet closed and moved the cat carrier back into the bathroom. He still paws at the cabinet to try to get in and won't use the carrier as a hiding spot if I move it out. There are other place to hide but he won't use them. I also know that Arlo doesn't come out of hiding while I'm at work, unless to eat or go to the bathroom, because I have looked through my patio door when coming home and he's nowhere in sight. Even on the weekends, when I'm home all day, he still rarely comes out. I can easily coax him out, but the second something scares him, he's gone. I severely question if a loud apartment is the right fit for him and wonder if a house with more room and better hiding spots would be better suited for Arlo. I will also add that Arlo isn't allowed in my bedroom because I have two old rats that both have mammary tumors. I am simply not willing to sacrifice their quality of life and safety for him to have another room to hide in; just smelling him on me has already severely stressed them out. They don't want to come out for daily playtime, when normally they're tremendously energetic and happy. I feel particularly guilty towards the rats. But basically, if he doesn't come out of hiding between the time I go to work and go to bed, then he's not getting the attention he deserves.
- I think our personalities clash. I wanted a lazy, chill lap cat, but Arlo is anything but that. He is very energetic and playful when he isn't scared. Because of this disconnect, I feel like our relationship lacks trust and affection. I'd say that this issue is the least important, and this alone wouldn't ever lead me to rehome a pet, but I'd be lying if I said that living with a pet that barely wants to be around you isn't difficult and a little sad.
So, do you think that I should return Arlo to the shelter? Do you think that I should give him more time to adjust? Should I wait to see if the cat tree helps alleviate some of these issues? Do you have any tips for making my cat less scared of my apartment? Is there anything that I'm doing wrong? Other suggests for making things work?
Note: Per the contract I signed with the shelter, I have to return Arlo back to them if things don't work out. I had a friend that worked there for years, and she says they're particularly strict about this. I feel like it would be more ideal to rehome him straight to a family, rather than stressing him out during a 2.5hr car drive and from being at the shelter, but that doesn't seem possible.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/d4rxz3/should_i_rehome_my_cat_long_and_detailed/
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