In May of this year, after a couple of years being catless, I adopted a 9 mo. old kitten. At first, it was sunshine and roses, and be both adjusted super well (I thought.) I was told by the rescue that she wasn't receiving enough attention in a house with other cats, so she would be fine as an only cat, and maybe would do well with one other in the future. I was also told she likes to be held and was very affectionate.
I've had cats previously so I was very confident that I could provide her the best home ever, despite it being a 1 bedroom apartment. I put up bird feeders on my deck (the landlord made me take these down, however), got a huge cat tree for her, toys everywhere, played with her daily, etc. You name it, I did it.
However, as the summer went on, her behavior began to devolve. As it turns out, she loathes being held. Enormously. Which made me wonder if the rescue even "knew" her at all. Then, she became more and more demanding. I say demanding and not needy, because she is not seeking affection. She is just... in my face, or distracting me, perpetually. She will howl at nothing, pull books out of bookcases, jump where she is not allowed to (and knows), fiddle with cabinet doors to make them bang in the middle of the night until I come see, and she will do things like scratch my box spring to wake me up, only to sprint under the bed or out of the room as soon as I even begin to move. She will fixate on something she wants, and then spend the next hour or so trying to get the thing she is fixated on (i.e. jumping on my houseplants), and no matter how much water I spray, scold, distract, etc her, she will not let this fixation drop.
Part of this was her demanding breakfast from me, so I got her an auto feeder and set it for 4:15am, 2:30pm, and 8:30pm. However, this has barely stopped her. She still acts out.
I play with her every single day for 20-40 minutes at a time. I go to my boyfriends house 2-3 times a week, but only will spend the night once a week, because of her. I won't even go to his house before I go home and play with her, our routine is that rigid. I limit my social interaction otherwise because I don't want to upset the cat. Still, it's not enough to curb the behavior(s).
At this point, I've tried Feliway spray, playtime, toys (which she will outright EAT some, so that's stressful), leaving her alone, bathing her in attention, etc. All of it. But nothing stops her bad behavior. The last straw was this morning where I discovered she actually ATE one of my bras. Like, nearly the entire shoulder strap and all of the band that goes under the arm on one side. Obviously, now I'm deeply concerned for an impacted bowel, but she literally just ate before this happened. She wasn't hungry. I don't understand. And honestly, this made me panic, as my last cat was a compulsive chewer who destroyed many things in my home. It brought back all this anxiety that I thought was over.
I love my stupid cat very much. But I am not happy in the home, and I don't think she is either. I'm not in a place where I would want to get a second cat, and I don't think it's fair to bandaid one problem with another animal. I'm at the point where I'm strongly considering rehoming her because it's not fair to her to live in a place where she clearly isn't getting her needs met.
This has gone on a little longer than I'd like, so thanks for reading. Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like a horrible person for wanting to give up on my cat, but I'm at a loss.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/e51az3/struggling_with_my_cat_im_not_sure_we_are_good/
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