My cockatiel died 1 year ago and ive been grieveing for a while but tomight for some reason, as grief ofter does, i found myself crying intensely over my cockatiel.
Ive started second guessing whether i was a good owner or whether he was even happy or not?? He would sing, and he would make beak cracklijg noises, would be perched on one leg often, and he would happily let me stroke him and visibily enjoyed it. also his cage was in the living room so he wasnt alone often and sometimes he would be on the table as i ate dinner. For these reasons at the time i believed he was happy however he would often spend most of his day sleeping and would only really move to eat and drink and then he would spend the day just watching wats happening in the living room. I bought him toys, none of which he enjoyed playing with. He also didnt love being picked up much, he wouldnt bite me but he woyld usually wanna go back to his cage quite quickly. Was my bird unhappy?
Also one thing i regret terribly was that one month, i was unable to be at home so i had to keep him with a friend who wasnt home very much and due to other animals in the house he had to be kept in a room, isolated on his own for majority of the day. Im crying as writing this as even thoigh it was only for a month, i would visit him and i could see he was unahppy but i wasnt able to do anything about it. After the month i briught him home and he was fine again but i just feel so bad remmevering it
I trult loved my bird but now i feel guilty that maybe he would hv been happier in the wild. I couldnt afford to buy him a companion so he never saw another cockatiel. Pictures of cockatiels in the wild look so happy, flying in groups, finding food, maybe the life that i gave him wasnt good enough. Also sunlight rarely ever fell in my living room so he rarely got to see sun. I made a perch in the sun for him which he used for a couole years (he could get sun through the window here) but it broke and i couldnt fix it.
I miss hin everyday. I also regret not spending enough time with him. Towards the last yrs of his life i had a levels and i was extremely sttessed and depressed so i didnt spend very much time with him. I would always say that after my alevels i would spend time with him (i had so nuch free time after) but he died before then :(
He died a very painful death (gout) and had seizures and it was the most painful thing to watch him. I had to out him to sleep but coz he died the day before my a level exam i didnt go with him. 1) because i didnt think i could watch but 2) because i needed to concentreate on my exam. Now i regret it wondering wat if he felt like alone and tgar i didnt care. Ive been crying for hours now. I loved him so much. I wish i had done better looking after him. How can i stop feeling this way?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/g23jnu/guilt_over_my_dead_pet_bird/
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