I grew up with 2 cats who lived to be 17, and I loved them so, so much. When they passed about 5 years ago I was absolutely devastated. But, I decided I would adopt a kitty down the road when the time felt right, which I thought was 2 days ago.
This was NOT a decision I made lightly. I've been searching on and off for a cat who "felt right" for my personality for over a year. When I found a cat that clicked with me at my local shelter in February, I told myself to sit on it and think about it. I couldn't stop thinking of her, so I thought she was meant to be my cat. I prepared my apartment with all sorts of toys, food, cat beds and trees, a big litter box, etc. and went to officially adopt her earlier this week. I thought now would be an amazing time to bond and get the cat used to her new home, as I'm currently working from home due to COVID-19.
The cat I connected with at the shelter is a different cat than the one currently in my apartment. The shelter listed her as shy, independent, not talkative, and more of a window watcher than a player, and that was more or less the kitty I met and loved at the shelter. In reality, she's always meowing, extremely playful, super active, and she follows me everywhere. She's 2 years old, and I mistakingly thought she would be more mellow than she actually is.
I was initially so excited to adopt a cat, but now I can't help but feel anxious and regretful. My apartment suddenly feels so much smaller with two living beings in it. I spend extra time in bed in the morning because that's when I have quiet alone time (I shut her in the basement at night so far so she doesn't keep me awake). I could barely sleep last night because I had so much anxiety and felt like the biggest piece of garbage. I already sobbed today because I feel so terrible and guilty - this poor kitty has been in a cage for almost 3 months, of course she wants to run around and play. I just feel bad because it's not fair that I can't and don't want to give her the time to keep her entertained like she deserves. She would do amazing with a family with kids who can play and play with her. When I get to go back to work, she'll be alone 9 hours a day. I was hoping for a cat to come home and snuggle with, not a cat that requires so much attention. I hate myself for also feeling resentful, as I don't feel like I can leave my apartment due to worrying about her alone in my place.
She's so cute and sweet when she's not tearing through the house. She's been amazing with the litter box. She's such a good cat and she deserves an amazing, loving home. I feel terrible that I don't think I can give her that.
Rationality tells me I should give her more time, but I feel like I should return her to the shelter sooner rather than wait it out so she doesn't get even more used to my apartment. It doesn't feel fair to her. Then I have to tell everyone I excitedly told about my adoption that I already returned her.
Any words of advice are helpful.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ftncyo/i_have_major_anxiety_and_regret_after_adopting_a/
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