I am a student in college. I live with two roommates. One of which, Clare, I have lived with since August 2018. My other roommate, Brittany, moved in with us in July of 2019. In September of 2018, I got a cat, Leo. I found Leo on petfinder and shortly after I arranged to meet up with Leo at a nearby PetSmart and talked to his foster mom. I then came back to the PetSmart a week later to officially adopt him. I had spoken to both my roommates about two weeks prior about getting Leo. I sent pictures of him Leo from Petfinder before I even got him to let them know where I was in the process. Both Clare and my other roommate at the time were on board with me getting him. Leo is a great cat. Leo also has some special needs. He has seizures for which he takes medication for daily. He also has anxiety that causes him to over groom at times and rip his hair own hair out. It is very sad but I manage it as best as I can by making sure we have a very diligent routine. At some point I will look into another medication for his anxiety, but the vet has been hesitant to prescribe one not knowing how it could react with the medication for his seizures. Come July, Britany moves in. Britany has her own cat too, Toby. Before I had Britany sign the lease months prior, I made sure that Leo and Toby met up so there I could know they would get along. Me allowing her to move in with Clare and I was contingent on that. Toby and Leo got along just fine. They weren't best friends or anything but there weren't any problems between the two of them. They would hang out and sleep near each other frequently. Funny enough they both slept with our other roommate Clare every night. Unfortunately, Toby had passed away from medical complications in December. I can't imagine how hard that was for Britany. She had talked vaguely about wanting to get another cat eventually. I didn't have an issue with this. Nor did my roommate Clare. My problems began when she brought home a cat suddenly with talking to us prior about it. Just to make matters worse, it was the same day I was leaving town for a long weekend so I couldn't even be there while her new cat, Theo, and my cat were meeting. I was extremely upset that she didn't formally ask me prior and even give me a heads up that she was coming home with home. To me, that a BIG no no when you live with roommates. But I didn't want to cause tension, so I but my tongue. My trip was very nerve-racking and all I could really think about was the cats. I was terrified of them not getting along and it stressing out Leo. Sure enough, I had reason to be terrified. I came home and instantly knew something was wrong with my cat when Clare told me he's been hiding in the cabinets almost constantly and that he's not been eating all of his food (sleeping in the cabinets is something he has done before periodically but not for multiple hours a day). When I went to grab him out of our bathroom cabinet, he was not excited to see and was cowering away. This was extremely unusual for him. I bring Leo into my room and close the door behind him so he can be alone. I then talk to britany and she says that Theo and Leo get in a physical fight once every single day and it has to be broken up by either her or Clare, but nobody know who is starting it because it happens when they aren't paying attention. My cat leo has been in the same two foster homes since he was a kitten. I still regularly communicate with both of them and have them cat sit for me a couple times a year. Leo has never not gotten along with another cat or dog for that matter. I am already certain that these fights are being instigated by Theo. I bring Theo into the room with Leo that night to see what happens. Sure enough, when Leo was dead asleep and curled up in a ball, Theo crawls over him and starts VERY aggressively biting his throat. I immediately break it up and tell Britany what I saw. We determine that the cats need to be separated at all times. I started reading a lot of stuff online about how to reintroduce cats. We then started regular site swapping for 4-6 hours a day and feeding them on each side of a door (and eventually a gate). They seemed to be doing good with the feeding ritual. And things started immediately getting better for Leo as far as his hiding and appetite, but he still isn't quite his normal self. We tried to remove the gate once, about a week into the reintroduction, and let them play. My thought process was that with a laser to act as a distraction, Theo would not go after Leo. That didn't happen. Theo launched himself onto Leo's back within 15 seconds from behind and instantly starting biting him. There was a lot of howling but idk honestly it's coming from. Theo gets out back in Britany's room right away. At this point, I have little hope for them being able to cohabitate. Britany feels that I am attacking her and her cat and blaming it all on Theo. Well, I kind of am. My cats isn't doing anything wrong. You bring a new cat in here and it fucks everything up. I don't want to have to lock my cat in my room for half the day but that is what we've had to do now. I ask her how she's feels about keeping Theo at her boyfriend's or her parents house for the remainder of the lease (both of whom live only an hour away) and she seems appalled that I would even ask. She says "well I pay the rent too why would Theo go instead of Leo?" BECAUSE MY CAT LIVED HERE BEFORE YOU EVEN DID AND YOUR CAT IS THE ONE WHO ACTIVELY ATTACKING MINE AND EXACERBATING HIS ANXIETY. I am trying to explain to her that when you live with roommates, getting pets is a group decision that everyone has to be okay with. She didn't ask me about it. If I had know that she was starting to actually look at cats again, I would have happily become involved in the process and arranging for the cat to meet Leo and made it very clear that they must get along. Sure, we all pay rent. That doesn't mean I can blast music loudly at 3 a.m. just because I pay rent too lol. So that argument is redundant to me. Fast forward another week and a door was left open very briefly and Theo ran into the the room where leo was and started attacking him again. It was probably about 15 seconds before I had got in to break it up because I was far away. Theo was on Leo's back and was ripping out chunks of his hair. I pulled Theo off and the hair feel out of his mouth. I am so upset I can barely keep my tears back. My poor cat is being terrorized and I see no long term solution. Theo was previously a stray that britany rescued. The humane society said they didn't observe aggression while he's was in their care. I don't know what would be causing him to attack my cat completely unprovoked. I am losing patience with keeping Leo locked up all the time. My family lives 4 hours and 45 minutes away. If I brought Leo there, I would rarely see him. He also needs medication every twelve hours which would be difficult for them to commit to. He doesn't do well when he is left home alone for extended periods of time and gets very anxious. My cats at home also don't like any new cats coming into the house. The couple times I have brought him home they away at him and his constantly. Britany says Theo can't go back to her parents because it's not their responsibility to take care of them and she doesn't want to dump him on them. She doesn't want to bring him to her boyfriend's for a reason I can't understand. They see each other every weekend. Her boyfriend likes Theo and was with her when she picked him up and told her "if you don't get Theo, I will get him". Her boyfriend has a dog but the dog isn't aggressive with cats and loses interest after a few minutes. I know this because his dog has come to my apartment and I would see him interact with Toby and Leo. So instead my cat has to be tortured and walk on eggshells for three months of our lease???? She doesn't seem to have much logic about this. Please help!!!!!
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/gd70xi/roommates_cat_attacking_my_cat_roommate_not/
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