I love it when people talk stupid to their pets.

I do it; quite probably you do it too.

There's your sweet little thing... Your cat sprawled out looking fluffy and lovable on your pillow, basking in a pampering as their sister grooms their head; your dog grinning up at you with three log-sized sticks in their mouth all at once, dead chuffed by their abilities; your hamster stuffing something massive in their pouch with single-minded determination...

And this comes out of your mouth: "Awww! My smooshy-booshie-boo! What a cutie pie!"

I'm embarrassed to do it. I still do it.

I did it just now. My partner was on a work video chat; sound on, video on. I heard him saying the words of goodbye: "No worries, guys! Have a good Christmas - talk to ya later!" I'd been quiet up until that point, making sure not to disturb the call. Then, with the signal of call over and my cat looking floppy and scrumptious before me, I let that beauty above out in a high-pitched squeal I'm not proud of.

Call wasn't over. It was one of those false goodbyes that somehow often manage to precede further talking. They were still listening. Whoops.

But this is one those areas where I'm far more embarrassed about me being caught doing it than I am about hearing other people do it. I've had a neighbour who'd call their dog inside every evening with these amazing chirrups of fond affection - never heard anyone else manage to make a sound so high-pitched as that. I had another neighbour who downright gushed the lengthiest monologue in excited baby-voice the moment they got home and were met by their two buoyant dogs. I've known someone who goes on rambles - that make no sense whatsoever - that all centre around their cat being a cuddly little bear. I lived with a family dog for a long time who only knows the word ball as "bally" and stone as "stoney".

And my neighbours, I'm sure, have heard me have what I think are some dynamite one-sided conversations with our cats complete with me calling them my "Super-Big-Smush!" and my "Coo-koo-Ka-Choo-Koo!". Or heard me call out the window for the cat to "C'mon'm'boooi! Where're you my beautiful blue-eyed king?".

I don't find it annoying when other people do it. Doesn't matter how high-pitched they are, or how stupid they sound - I know I can be just the same. I prefer it to hearing someone get home and shout exasperatedly at their dog to get back, anyway.

We're being told now not to talk baby talk to our kids. Can delay their language development. I see the point in not doing that.

But it strikes me stupid-talk to cute things is a pretty dang human thing to do, and doing it to our pets is now our only good outlet. What's it going to do other than mean we're saying "bally" or calling the dog with the nickname "Pie" in public? And, with the possible exception of cats and their immense ability to give you disdainful looks, the pet doesn't mind it.

Hearing others use stupid-talk to their pets just makes me like my community more. It's cheerful. It's sweet. We can all be stupid pet-lovers together.

submitted by /u/GertieGuss
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/eegokx/i_love_it_when_people_talk_stupid_to_their_pets/