My roommate is the worst pet owner I've ever met. She's had this cat for nine years, she got it when she was in school as a gift from her mother. She doesn't take care of it. I know that there are worse pet owners out there. She's not physically abusive but neglect is just as bad. I'm just going to list my grievances.
She spends no time with the cat. She leaves the house at 8 and comes home usually past midnight when she immediately goes to bed. On days she doesn't work she spends NO time with it at all. The cat waits by the door for her to get home, scratching at it and meowing insistently. Shes out all day by choice. She works a nine to three PT job.
The cat has been severely overweight it's whole life because she just leaves food out, crappy junk generic cat food and people food which makes it sick. I don't think she has ever played with it. She only has one toy for it and thinks pouring a whole bag of catnip on the carpet counts (which she never cleans up).
The cat is prone to UTI's, but she doesn't want to buy the expensive food to prevent them, or the medicine. She is convinced it's the tap water he drinks and keeps talking about how WE need to be filling the water dish with store-bought distilled water. And then gets mad when we don't. She doesn't buy the water, she wants us to.
She hotboxes in her room with the cat locked in with her. Now her cat has developed asthma. It took her months to notice. The only nice thing I can say about it is that she took him to the vet as soon as she noticed. She bitches about the cost of his meds and relies on me and our other roommate completely to monitor attacks, because she is never home.
She never cleans his litter box. She keeps it in her room (she wanted it in the living room but we all vetoed that) but she bitches about having to take out the litter and wants to keep the piles of litter trash by the front door until it's "convenient" for her to take out. She was throwing it away in the kitchen trash, not bagged or anything, just straight clumps of cat shit in the trash. It was nasty. She keeps trying to get us to clean his litter box because "we're home more".
He's a longhair cat and she never brushes his coat, which leads to hairballs and matting. She expects us to brush his coat. She never cleans up the hairballs because she's never home. She says if we don't want to clean up hairballs than we need to brush him. Also the hairballs aggravate his asthma causing attacks that then we have to deal with.
She never outright asks us to take care of him, except when she's going on a trip or something, but the expectation is there for us to take care of him for her. She's stopped asking me because I'm passive aggressive and she knows I will speak my mind and say NO. So she relies on our gullible roommate. I have sympathies for the cat so I do play with it and brush it's coat. I know I am just enabling her behavior but it's not the cat's fault and I don't like seeing him suffer.
Back in August she came to me saying she wanted to get another cat, a kitten, because she was worried her cat was lonely. I thought it was a terrible idea for her to have two cats to neglect, but her plans were already in place to get one. This kitten was was gonna happen. It was a done deal. So I told her I was thinking of getting my own cat. Now suddenly I have a kitten. I think that may have been her plan.
This kitten and the adult cat DO NOT get along. But she doesn't notice. She's not here.
We asked her to find another place to live when out lease is up. I'm worried about what's going to happen to the cat when we're not around. Like I said, it's not the cats fault. It's not my responsibility though, I still feel bad. She does love her cat in her own way. She thinks he's pretty and takes lots of pictures of him being cute. She ranted about how her cat is going to be lonely again and the whole point of ME getting the kitten was to keep HER cat company.
She's one of those manipulative people who you're not really sure if she's doing it intentionally or not. Everything is done for her. She's pretty and an airhead (I'm not convinced the airhead bit isn't an act, she's smart when she wants to be) so she just has things done for her. She's a compulsive liar and hides behind her less than happy childhood as an excuse for everything. I'm not sure if the victim mindset is real or not anymore. I've know her since we were kids and I've bought her lies for so long but now I'm starting to question everything. I don't want to be victim shaming or anything, she did have a rough childhood I don't deny that. I'm just saying I'm not convinced she isn't using it to her advantage and to stay out of trouble. Example: I saved up and got an expensive cat tree to put in my room ( to deter the kitten from certain destructive habits). She complained that she wanted her cat to use it too, and that I should move it to the shared living space. I said no because It was in my room for a reason, serving a specific purpose. She thought I was being selfish and complained to all her friends and family and she got THREE expensive cat trees for FREE as gifts from her friends and family. Then complained because there wasn't any space for them anywhere. When I got mad about it she talked about her depression and her current family problems as the cause of it all. So I'm the bad guy for snapping at her because of her life problems and somehow it's still all my fault that she has cat trees.
She acts like nothing is her fault or responsibility and refuses to listen to anyone about life decisions. She is gonna live her life, sure, she doesn't want my opinion on how her friends are using her and her lifestyle is gonna end up with her in a ditch somewhere, fine. But don't act like it's my fault or responsibility when things go wrong. I might act a bit high and mighty sometimes because I don't have shady friends (other than her) and am following my dreams instead of complaining all the time, sure. It's just so disappointing seeing her go down this path and make all these bad decisions. I know she is so much better and smarter than this! I know she can achieve her dreams if she put ANY effort into them! I've spent so long trying to save her but I've given up. When shit hits the fan I don't want to be around. If she wants to improve her life I will be here for her without so much as an 'I told you so' because that's what friends do. Until that time though I'm going to get away from her and watch the sinking ship from afar and worry about her cat.
The worst would be if she gets away with everything she's doing now. If somehow her good looks and victim shield get her out of everything. I'm going to be so pissed. Why does it always work out for her? Why does she get to break all the rules and get away with it!?
I envy her. She's pretty and people flock to her and do her bidding, they always have, and I get by on hard work. All she has to do is bat her eyelashes and mention her depression and people flood to her to 'save' her. She is so nice (partially a ruse I'm starting to think) so people WANT to help her without realizing they're being swindled. She's a con artist. It must be a charisma thing and a beauty thing. I envy it because people don't flock to help me out, I have to work hard and be awkward. I'm not saying her life has been easy, but it certainly is easier now, and shes wasting it and all the opportunities she has, and I have to hear her complain about it all and take care of her neglected cat.
Sorry for the off topic rant.
TLDR; good friend is bad friend and cat mom.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/ai6qxc/just_venting/
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