Im a 13 year old female and a few years ago my mum got me a dog. She was from a rescue center (she was a jack russel terrier) because her owner couldnt take care of her and her past owner died and a lot more brutal owners abused her. She was an old dog, my grandad was walking her and a vet came up and said she looks like a very old dog (around 12 or 13) we never sure of her birthday or near about age. I was given her with the commitment of walking and feed her and everything else a dog owner does. I done these jobs until i was around 11 when i started getting lazy and left my grandparents or mum to feed her and it got really bad. Sometimes I came home and ignored her i would even forget i have a dog. A few months went by and I took more attention to her and played with her a lot after school etc. but i never had the energy to walk her (i regret this so much).
Fast forward to June 13th 2019. I woke up and i went downstairs to have breakfast and say morning to my grandad. I couldn't find cassie and started to think she ran away. Then i found her under the table looking terrible. My grandad said prior to when i found her she threw up. She looked so sad. She kept throwing up and avoiding us. I was really worried and searched symptoms for dying, i told my family she had all the symptoms but they laughed and said she was just sick.
I went out with uncle and when i came back cassie was gone. My mom explained she just went to the vets and they were keeping her overnight to take care of her and the reason she was so sick is because she swallowed a chemical and blisters were in her throught. I woke up the next day and saw my mum on the phone. She suddenly started crying and I heard the voice through the phone saying she had died. I cant explain how i felt. Kind of like somebody's gripping ur stomach and strangling you at the same time. The whole day was spent crying and giving her a mini funeral. I was depressed for the next minth or so until i went travelling.
I feel so guilty, thinking i could have killed her. It could have been nail polish on the table. Anything. I want to get a new pet but cassie is always in the back of my mind because i feel bad i give amazing care of another animal and give her the shit one. Please give me advice on just how i can have a new pet and not feel so guilty or maybe just a joke to make me feel better. Please
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/dgwzi4/i_think_im_an_animal_abuser_and_i_need_help/
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